(WARNING: This may be over-sharing.)
I've been going to spin class after work and carry two pairs of socks in my bag. I alternate using them which means they end up in the laundry every few days. I lost a blue sock last week and finally gave up looking for it.
This morning (3:13 AM) I got dressed, walked out into the kitchen to leave the house and realized I was only wearing a bra.
So I walked back to the bedroom where I put on a top, tied on my shoes and drove to Dunkin Donut to fuel up for my hour commute into work.
As I was walking the ¼ mile distance from car to my desk, my rear-end felt...weird. Like displaced fat migrants were traveling around trying to decide where to settle.
It was very disconcerting.
I stopped to use the bathroom, turned to confirm the seat cover had gone in and the following sequence of thoughts flashed through my brain:
1. What IS that?
2. Oh my gosh, it’s my blue sock!
3. What’s it doing....
4. ...was it inside my...
5. I’ve got to get it out...
6. Ewww, I just peed in there...
7. (hearing the imminent sound of an industrial-grade automatic flushing system gearing up)
8. Oh my gosh, it’s going to flush away!
9. (Reach down and grab soggy sock...)
FLUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(holding dripping sock over the toilet bowl....)
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Just in case you need a visual, click on the link to see what it felt like walking down the hall.
https://recipeswap.org/fun/wp-content/uploads/Finer_Kitchens/2016_Marilyn/DroopyDiaper.jpg~original
I've been going to spin class after work and carry two pairs of socks in my bag. I alternate using them which means they end up in the laundry every few days. I lost a blue sock last week and finally gave up looking for it.
This morning (3:13 AM) I got dressed, walked out into the kitchen to leave the house and realized I was only wearing a bra.
So I walked back to the bedroom where I put on a top, tied on my shoes and drove to Dunkin Donut to fuel up for my hour commute into work.
As I was walking the ¼ mile distance from car to my desk, my rear-end felt...weird. Like displaced fat migrants were traveling around trying to decide where to settle.
It was very disconcerting.
I stopped to use the bathroom, turned to confirm the seat cover had gone in and the following sequence of thoughts flashed through my brain:
1. What IS that?
2. Oh my gosh, it’s my blue sock!
3. What’s it doing....
4. ...was it inside my...
5. I’ve got to get it out...
6. Ewww, I just peed in there...
7. (hearing the imminent sound of an industrial-grade automatic flushing system gearing up)
8. Oh my gosh, it’s going to flush away!
9. (Reach down and grab soggy sock...)
FLUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(holding dripping sock over the toilet bowl....)
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Just in case you need a visual, click on the link to see what it felt like walking down the hall.
https://recipeswap.org/fun/wp-content/uploads/Finer_Kitchens/2016_Marilyn/DroopyDiaper.jpg~original
