You might want to pop a frozen pizza in the oven while you read this.https://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/uploadedFiles/schools/poolesvillehs/departments/english/Repulsive%20Dinners%20SUMMER%20READING.pdf
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For Lisa and anyone else in need of a laugh: Laurie Colwin's *Repulsive Meals*
- Thread starter marilynfl
- Start date
Love this! I especially love the word "ghastly" - she uses it perfectly in her writing.
I cannot even think about the starry gazy pie, but the fish bake story makes me wonder "Do people really eat that way every day, and not even realize how much more there is to life than...that?"
I cannot even think about the starry gazy pie, but the fish bake story makes me wonder "Do people really eat that way every day, and not even realize how much more there is to life than...that?"
Amen sister. The worst restaurant meal I ever had was in Paris. Can you believe that!
I'm fairly certain the concept never even occurred to me, so when it happened, I was actually stunned.
The day started out with a croissant and latte, but nothing else because we were heading for Versailles and I wanted to eat there. We took the Metro first then caught a bus that would take us to the main entrance. But somewhere along the way, the bus driver started explaining something (in French, obviously) which neither of us spoke. He kept pointing up the road and gesturing and waving us off the bus. We finally had to get off because he turned the empty bus around and went back the way we'd come. We stood there on the side of the road and looked around. No Versailles in sight. NO WHERE. And that's one big building not to not see.
We finally started walking in the direction away from the way he'd driven in since we hadn't pass Versailles that way. And 1.5 MILES later, we got to the entrance. There we met someone who spoke English and told us a military parade was going on and the roads were blocked to the entrance.
700 rooms later...or maybe 7,000 rooms later, I was tired of Marie and Louie and just wanted food. Badly. And guess what. There was NONE. Not a single place to eat there. A kiosk was selling water but nothing else. Apparently a military parade preempted everything.
Long scrabbling 1.5 mile walk back to the bus stop, then to the Metro, then to our hotel near the Sorbonne. As this was our last night in Paris, we had saved this final meal for one of the couscous restaurants that line the streets in St. Germain. Every evening we lingered around the aroma, but due to budget issues, we knew we could only afford one night out. And this was it.
At 5:00 PM, we were showered and physically refreshed, but STARVING. We walked down to our favorite, most aromatic restaurant and smelled...nothing. We walked up the door and no tables outside were set. We pulled the door handle and it was locked. Then we went to another restaurant and it was closed. Then another.
Merde!
We realized the military parade must have signaled a French holiday that we knew nothing about and that was why all the restaurants were closed. We walked and walked and walked and finally found a Chinese restaurant open.
I can't go into the details because I have blocked them from my memory but it was THE WORST MEAL EVER. Not even just the worst Chinese meal...the WORST MEAL EVER.
From there we went to a French film and finally walked home at 9:00 PM. And guess what? ALL the restaurants were OPEN! Apparently, being the hicks we were, we didn't realize Parisan restaurants didn't open until later in the evening.
And now we had no budget left. And we were leaving the next morning.
Merde.
I'm fairly certain the concept never even occurred to me, so when it happened, I was actually stunned.
The day started out with a croissant and latte, but nothing else because we were heading for Versailles and I wanted to eat there. We took the Metro first then caught a bus that would take us to the main entrance. But somewhere along the way, the bus driver started explaining something (in French, obviously) which neither of us spoke. He kept pointing up the road and gesturing and waving us off the bus. We finally had to get off because he turned the empty bus around and went back the way we'd come. We stood there on the side of the road and looked around. No Versailles in sight. NO WHERE. And that's one big building not to not see.
We finally started walking in the direction away from the way he'd driven in since we hadn't pass Versailles that way. And 1.5 MILES later, we got to the entrance. There we met someone who spoke English and told us a military parade was going on and the roads were blocked to the entrance.
700 rooms later...or maybe 7,000 rooms later, I was tired of Marie and Louie and just wanted food. Badly. And guess what. There was NONE. Not a single place to eat there. A kiosk was selling water but nothing else. Apparently a military parade preempted everything.
Long scrabbling 1.5 mile walk back to the bus stop, then to the Metro, then to our hotel near the Sorbonne. As this was our last night in Paris, we had saved this final meal for one of the couscous restaurants that line the streets in St. Germain. Every evening we lingered around the aroma, but due to budget issues, we knew we could only afford one night out. And this was it.
At 5:00 PM, we were showered and physically refreshed, but STARVING. We walked down to our favorite, most aromatic restaurant and smelled...nothing. We walked up the door and no tables outside were set. We pulled the door handle and it was locked. Then we went to another restaurant and it was closed. Then another.
Merde!
We realized the military parade must have signaled a French holiday that we knew nothing about and that was why all the restaurants were closed. We walked and walked and walked and finally found a Chinese restaurant open.
I can't go into the details because I have blocked them from my memory but it was THE WORST MEAL EVER. Not even just the worst Chinese meal...the WORST MEAL EVER.
From there we went to a French film and finally walked home at 9:00 PM. And guess what? ALL the restaurants were OPEN! Apparently, being the hicks we were, we didn't realize Parisan restaurants didn't open until later in the evening.
And now we had no budget left. And we were leaving the next morning.
Merde.
Lisa--I looked up eel pics so I could better visualize their heads coming out of a slit in a
pie crust, thereby giving the eels ample opportunity to "view" or gaze at the dough star shapes on top of the decorated pie crust. Oh, my. I also assume that Laurie Colwin's hostess who served the starry gazey entrees had her squid eyeballs poking out of her pies. I believe I could handle an old-fashioned fish bake over a starry gazey medieval fish meal. And in all honesty--after reading Laurie's entire article, the Scottish gentleman's meal sounded the best. What a sad commentary, n'est-ce pas?
pie crust, thereby giving the eels ample opportunity to "view" or gaze at the dough star shapes on top of the decorated pie crust. Oh, my. I also assume that Laurie Colwin's hostess who served the starry gazey entrees had her squid eyeballs poking out of her pies. I believe I could handle an old-fashioned fish bake over a starry gazey medieval fish meal. And in all honesty--after reading Laurie's entire article, the Scottish gentleman's meal sounded the best. What a sad commentary, n'est-ce pas?