Have any of you fine cooks encountered people who are intimidated to cook for you?

M

michael-in-phoenix

Well-known member
I had this happen recently. Of course I took it as a great compliment and did my best to remain humble...

I'm kidding of course. I found it a bit embarrassing, actually. I told them what my mother used to say: "The best meal I ever had was any meal someone else prepared for me."

Michael

 
All the time. We rarely get invited for dinner even though we've invited people multiple times.

I always shake my head at this problem- I am happy with a hot dog on the grill or anything else somebody might prepare- even a store-bought rotisserie chicken. It is the socializing that is important, not the food.

 
Yes, and I'm not even that good of a cook. I just overwhelm guests with "too much" I guess.

I've been told by at least 4 different people that they're afraid to invite us to dinner because they don't think their meal would compare to mine.

I tried convincing them otherwise, but now we just meet out for dinner and no one feels less.

 
Uh, yes...

I've said similar to what others have said, throw some hot dogs on the grill, etc. when someone confronts me with the "I would be afraid to have you over for dinner" chant.

And yes, I know I do go overboard with dinners and entertaining. But that's me: Life not done in big grand style isn't worth doing.

Luckily I do have a lot of friends who enjoy big baroque feeding fests of really well prepared quality foods and get asked to dinner frequently.

So I don't keep score and don't worry about the ones who do use that as an excuse.

 
consider yourselves invited---for hotdogs on the campfire, or rotisserie chicks. anytime. direct

flights from HNL, or Maui or Kona now. 5 1/2 hours only. we have temps in upper 50s, low 60s this week. the Sockeyes are starting to run---big numbers expected next week. right in front of our cabin. Hubby is smoking some of last year's freezer stash as we speak. woohoo.

 
All the time, too. Or people will be eating the meal saying "I don't know how I can cook for you

after this" or "what". And then they'll remark on my cooking later to other people in front of me. I find that quite embarrassing and state simply that it's about the fact that I really enjoy cooking and for me it's a hobby. Or I'll be told that someone told them that I was a "great cook". I use the same explanation again.

I really don't think it's an excuse.

But again, I feel uncomfortable when they do ask me over and they're all nervous about what they've prepared or apologize for it.

 
I agree that sometimes it seems that the number of courses seems to daunt people

and it looks like so much work. But if it's a hobby, it's fun. Most people don't seem to enjoy food preparation.

 
It an excuse...or saying something about their own insecurities about their abilities?

I look at it on the same level as the computer pros in my area. I have no desire to put in the effort it takes to be on the same level as them.

Other people feel that way about cooking. And I totally get that. Some days *I* wish I didn't geek out so much about food.

I say, "I'd welcome an invite--let's keep it simple, or we can go out. I value your friendship and first and foremost, I want you to be comfortable. The choice is yours."

On the flip side, I recently went to a dinner at a friend's house with wine geeks. Holy cow! They had multiple wine pairings for each course, and had clearly put a lot of thought into the wines they chose. I was totally over my head. While I tried to be a good guest, I was clearly out of my league and had little to contribute to that kind of conversation. I totally get the intimidation factor.

 
All the time three. I say the same things--hot dogs are fine, I love pizza, whatever I don't cook is

a treat. If they persist I hint that we love to eat in restaurants but can't afford to go out often. People who are serious about reciprocating find a way to do it.

I don't expect anyone to get as crazy about food as I do, and I try not to keep score. If someone is a good guest and fun to have in a group, I keep inviting them even if I've never been to dinner at their house.

 
I also think it's important to have impromptu get togethers, potlucks, and simple meals

now and then where the food is less important. You have more time to visit and your friends know you like them for their company and not just as an audience for your culinary theatre.

 
I agree with what every one says. I've know some people who have been to my home for dinner

many times and in 10 years I have never seen the inside of their home.

However, I have a dear friend who loves to have us over. She is also the only one that I can call up at 1:00 pm and say that the couple we were having for dinner at 6:00 are on their way to the hospital and would they like to come down for mussels. The drive is an hour and a half and they showed up with champagne and napkins tucked under their chins.

 
very much so, it has its place...

I've fed 50 people out of hotel pans filled with baked tuna noodle casserole and a punch bowl filled with salad on paper plates. People had fun.

And there's always the big ol' sloppy spaghetti and meatballs dinner for a couple dozen of your closest friends.

 
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