Hello again. It is I.

M

Marg CDN

Well-known member
And boy, I is really not up for much in the way of recipes and cooking.

Just thought I'd check in. As Pat said, one foot in front of the other. Sometimes they want to argue with each other, but time passes anyway.

I'm still overwhelmed. It seems as though I can never catch up to all that has to be done. Much of the work, I just cannot do and I had to become okay with just letting it go. Some of it cannot be done alone and much is just too heavy. Friends and neighbours have offered to help, of course, but I think I need to save that for something critical. It's a strange thing, being alone in a big house. If I fell, or knocked myself out, I realize that it would be several days or even weeks before anyone knew. That struck me as I went sliding across the ice last week, when the neighbours were away for a week. Ah well, one day at a time. And it's time to move to an apartment again.

Thank you all for your well-wishes. The hugs always help; in fact they are critical.

I've decided to spend Christmas alone. Sharing my dismalness with friends is not something I'm about to do. So it will be a silent one. (except for my deaf, squawking cat who is just barely hanging on)

Best wishes to all. I hope this season brings you some joy, good food, and good times with friends and family.

 
So glad to hear from you Marg. I think of you often. I know nothing can ease your pain or burdens

but know that we are all wishing you well and send our prays and/or good wishes.

 
I'm so glad you checked in. I've thought of you and prayed for you many days. Two days ago a

glass tabletop fell on my back when I was on the floor trying to get my cat out from under the couch.

The glass table top was heavy and I could not move. Thankfully my husband was home, but it did make me think, I better be more thoughtful what I do in case I'm ever alone!

(((Marg)))

 
Marg, I don't you well, but I am so sorry for your troubles. As for spending the holidays alone...

If that's how you feel, don't let anyone make you feel bad if you want to spend the holiday alone. I've had some sad times in my life, and decided I was better off alone. One time I went camping at a trout fishing river in Tishimingo OK, for Thanksgiving AND Christmas with my dogs. On Thanksgiving two soldiers home from Iraq built me a fire, and played a guitar and sang. All the trout fishing people insisted on feeding me, and on Christmas, I was going to eat at a restaurant, and when I walked in, they said well, we're using our restaurant for our family dinner, but COME on in! My friends gave me hell, but that was what I needed to do.

 
Marg, I'm so glad to here from you. Hugs from me too.

I live alone too and my family lives an hour away. One thing we have worked out is that I call my mom and/or my sister every evening, if just for a few minutes. That prevents the possibility of being hurt or ill and nobody knowing. They have the number for a neighbor who can come and ring the doorbell if they think I'm out of the loop. Perhaps you can set up a similar routine so that someone is aware of how you are doing. Some things I just don't do anymore, such as climbing on an extension ladder in the back yard where nobody could see me if I had fallen.

 
Hi Marg, I have been thinking of you so much.

I hope you find peace this Christmas and I will send you concentrated feelings of love and space on Christmas day.

You mentioned not wanting to ask for help, I think that you should not hesitate to ask now. Now is when your brain isn't working right or when just doing something seems just too much or that you just can't figure it out. Your friends and family love you and I am sure they are at a loss as to how they can help you feel better. Because, no one can do that. But by letting them give to you their gift of help right now will take a little of the burdens off your shoulders. It's one less thing you will have to think about right now, and that might be helpful. I personally have a hard time asking or accepting help, even when I really really need it. I don't know how you feel but I helped my mom a lot when her second husband died. People from his church were offering help and I just started parceling out things that they could do help her and us. I kept saying it was just a temporary thing and that way she didn't feel like she was taking advantage of their generosity or being a bother or a burden. I was just 16 and his death was shocking and quick. She had many many bad days but slowly the not so bad days came along and then a good day here or there. Our first Christmas without him was rough. Sometimes you can't just carry on with a brave face. Be good to yourself every day, even if it's a little thing. So please take all the time you need and reach out to your friends more. I too live alone and have friends I check in with daily, makes me worry less about falling on my head in the shower and having my fat cat eat me for dinner! Big hugs to you...

 
Such good advice from your friends here! I've not been on much, either but

I have had Christmases in deep grief, too. It stinks! Please take some of the lovely advice offered you here by people who care.

One thing, if you have a cell phone, or a cordless phone, tuck it in your pocket (or bra!) so you can call for help if you need it.

Have thought and prayed for you many times the last while, even though I've been absent.

(((((hugs))))

 
It's not just about recipes and cooking Marg. There is more to us

here. We're also here for our "family friends". Don't be afraid to reach out sweety. We care. ((((Marg))))

 
(((Marg))) thanks for keeping in touch. There's not much more any of us can do

for you except send you our prayers and small comforts of friends. It does distress me to think of you alone at this time -- Heather's network system is such a good idea for you. If you don't want to speak with someone every day maybe there is a service in your town that offers an emergency call button while you are alone. I can't imagine the enormous amount of work it would be to downsize a large household by yourself -- take as much time as possible to make decisions and be careful who you contract and who you trust.

Someone said "be good to yourself every day". Do that!

 
(((Marg))) Bless your heart...here's another perspective...some

people are just born "givers" and "helpers." That's how they are, and it's a blessing to them to stop by and do an odd heavy chore for someone. At the same time, you have human contact of some kind at least once a day. You might want to make a habit of meeting your mail carrier daily...that's another key contact for folks who live alone. I hope whatever you choose to do, you find peace in your day. Many prayers and hugs...

 
((Marg)) so glad you 'checked in'...

you've been very much on mine (our) mind(s).

You will continue to be.

With love,
Deb

 
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