Lessons learned........
1) DO NOT allow husbands to carry their own food to the den to eat - be their slave and take it to them. Much less chance of accidents, well at least major accidents.
2) DO NOT allow husbands to start the clean up before you have had a chance to assess. Otherwise they will take the first rag they can get their hands on and grind the staining item much further into the item rather than carefully scraping it off the surface leaving the least amount of stain as possible.
3) Always step back, take a deep breath and then go immediately to the internet.
4) Keep plenty of white vinegar handy for tomato based stains - it should be the first thing applied to 'neutralize' the stain before attempting to clean.
5) When all else fails, go for the medicine cabinet and use a 3% hydrogen peroxide solution even if it freaks out your husband. After an hour of cleaning and scrubbing, 2 minutes of blotting with the hydrogen peroxide (as recommended by carpet manufacturer) removed most of the stain with only one application. May need one more 'treatment' on the main area of initial impact.
6) Forget all this and let the stain set up beyond cleanability and then use it as a reason to replace the 11 year old carpet you have been dying to replace for the last 4 years! After all, it's HIS fault that it HAS to be replaced now and not just you wanting to redecorate.