If it's chocolate it must be dyslexic, or how to tell when a cupcake becomes a muffin

M

mariadnoca

Moderator
(long wayward sleepless ramble)

What is it with chocolate causing dyslexia??

Because try as I might there was just no getting around it tonight.

And I tried.

I wanted to make a test run of the linked to cupcakes, but I needed to cut it down because it makes a bajillion, which was one of the reasons I wanted to use it. I wanted to quarter it, but the math refused to compute. When I noticed I'd have to come up with half an egg I allowed myself to merely halve it. It would be fine. Fine.

So with laptop on kitchen table, I start cutting it down line by line. In my head. Did I mention my head rejects math? No? I blame Mr. Howard, my 7th grade math teacher. Boy how things nowadays have changed. But I digress. Anyhoo, my brain gets all daring, tries to cheat and jump ahead, twisting numbers that result in too much baking soda. Craptastic. Wait, light bulb! No problem. I adjust all amounts back to a full batch, and just set aside the dry goods for later in the week. I did adjust the baking powder not soda, didn't I? I'm sure I must have...stop, don't over think it. I'm sure it's fine. Fine. Whew. Dodged a bullet. Aren't I smart?!

No.

Because moments later, 2nd try at halving the recipe in my head...I do it again. This time with how much coffee I added. 1/4 cup too much. Hummm, what to do, what to do? So I scale back some on other wet goods, like the buttermilk and oil. Just a tad from each. It should be fine...right? Fine.

So, how does one tell if it's a cupcake or muffin?

Because I've made these before and normally they overflow easy, plus don't rise, like what happens to all the epi recipe commenters online. In fact I have a plan to test some at different temps, just to experiment. These? They dome. How did that happen? And they don't overflow. In fact they don't rise much, so next batch I fill 3/4 full like a normal cupcake...and I get perfectly domed beauties - that weigh a ton. Muffins? Are these now muffins? They kinda seem like they might be...

I eat one. Chocolate/caffeine allergy and all be damned, someone had to and I'm the only one here. Enquiring minds want to know!

They taste fine. Fine. Kinda like a brownie. Dense. The only known thing I changed (known, being the key word here) besides the above is I left out the cinnamon (I wanted to experiment filling them with salted caramel).

How many times can the brain twist the amounts in a chocolate recipe?

Answer: who knows, not me!

Oh and you know how I was worried about too much coffee taste? No? I didn't mention it? Well no matter because, no problem. All that coffee smell, poof! Gone. Leaving me with these strange muffincakes. One time only folks, because who knows what the amounts were. Again, not me!

All I know is I can't make them like this again. I can't serve these and call them cupcakes. Why did I tell SIL I'd bring her taste test samples tomorrow? And why was it when I tested them for doneness, they seemed.. almost rubbery? Hummm. I'm sure it's fine though. Fine.

Shoot. Allergy kicking in, anyone know how to slow a heart rate down? No? Because I'll be awake here. I'll be awake a looooong time yet.

Sigh, all this reminds me of that poem about recipes..

I didn’t have potatoes,

so I substituted rice.

Didn’t have paprika,

so I used another spice.

I didn’t have tomato sauce,

so I used tomato paste.

A whole can not a half can -

I don’t believe in waste.

My friend gave me the recipe -

she said you couldn’t beat it.

There must be something wrong with her,

I couldn’t even eat it.

So, Anyone want a muffincake?

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Cinnamon-Scented-Devils-Food-Cupcakes-109594

 

 
Ah Sister Maria, allow the Supreme Abbess of the Sisterhood of Kitchen Screwups

to lead you to a serene and peaceful place.

(That would not be your kitchen.)

In fact, I suspect men in Hazmat suits are descending into your kitchen hell right now and encircling it for containment.

They say it's always darkest before the edges really start to burn and screw up your cake, so bow your head, Sister Maria, and allow this simple fact to resonate:

NO ONE KNOWS THE EXACT TASTE OF WHAT YOU PLANNED TO BRING. You aren't re-creating Grandma's famous cupcake that the entire family knows and loves. YOU! YES YOU! hold the power in your hand to tell them they're getting an amazing treat: a muffincake. Yes YOU, you are the INVENTOR of the muffincake!! Shout it from the mountain-top, Sister!

(by the way, I was laughing so hard while reading your sleepless story this I spilled my coffee.)

 
Its a brownie if it sinks and is somewhat dense; it is a cupcake. . .

when the thing is fluffy (fluffier) than the brownie. It is a muffin if it is denser than cupcake but fluffier than the brownie. However if you cup-shaped baked good is too dense to chew, you should call it a heavy element and use it to bean rabbits in the garden, or that annoying rooster that crows 24/7.

You can call it a brownie if you frost and it is still a brownie--unless you call it a cupcake. You can call a muffin a cupcake if you put frosting on it too. You can call a cupcake a muffin, especially if it crowned up into a dome when you baked it, but you should frost it.

What it boils down to is a state of mind: If you are of a state of mind to call you cupcake a brownie or your muffin a cupcake, then do so.

This is art, and surely art is a way of life.

Just don't call me Shirley.

Or Cupcake.

 
Ha! I am the INVENTOR of MUFFINCAKES! Hear me roar!

hahahahahahahahahaaa

and, as of this morning now cooled, they're sticky.

Humm.

I'm not going to waste much more on them. I think someone someplace told me TJ's makes a salted caramel sauce. I may run to buy some vs make it for the test that's run amok, fill, then ice just to see what these turn into.

(((thank you)))

 
I will frost it, but right now it weighs more than the stacked high iced vanilla ones

coming in at 2 1/2 oz. If I was feeding breakfast to folks I'd land them there and call it done.

However, I will ice it, but I won't call it or you Shirley. Or cupcake smileys/wink.gif

Muffincake lives...it's alive, it's alive, it's aliiiive!

 
Hmmm, salted caramel IS carried by Trader Joe's. . .

warm it, bag it, pipe it into the middle, ooey-gooey! Yummers!

 
And if you put enough caramel in you could heat 'em in the microwave. . .

before serving, and call them Molten Caramel Cup Delights. . .

 
They are now iced & filled with caramel; icing testing part 2 in progress ruffles/no ruffles review

Oh and now in the light of day, I proclaim muffincakes delicious! At least the centers I cut out and nibbled when filling with caramel.

I've iced this 2nd batch of cakes with the same icing, but made it exactly as the recipe stated. Last time I added almost double the sugar to produce a stiff version.

The recipe as written produced a significantly softer icing. Almost whipped cream like. I'm letting the cupcakes sit at rm temp, but I have my doubts it will crust -- or stand up to heat. It also does not produce the broken edges that we saw in the pixs of the first version. So the piped flowers look very different. I actually like the first version better looks wise, but my hands like working with the softer version. A piped swirl looks fine, but again, with it being so soft I'm concerned about standing up to the outdoor setting.

One bit of news on the weather front, it's much cooler. Temps running below normal. The high on Sunday is now only expected to be 73F.

http://therepressedpastrychef.com/2008/5/19/buttercream-icing/

 
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