If You Don't Want Kids in Restaurants, You Should Just Stay Home

I’ve got one. And I’ll preface this by saying I have no kids, so my opinion is definitely biased since I’ve never had to train a child in restaurant manners.

I’m behind the restaurant on this one. I agreed with every reason they stated, especially the danger of kids running around while servers are carrying hot foods. I was in a local McDonalds and the parents were both on their phone while two of their kids were running around the restaurant and two were climbing up on the tables. And this was a time when McD would carry your order to your table. That meant food on trays with kids underfoot.

Now that was a cheap meal. A $50 dinner was ruined by a kid screaming and pounding on the table while the parents completely ignored him. This went on for my entire meal. All I can imagine was the parents had learned to tune out the noise as a form of self preservation. But their night out ruined not only mine but all the other patrons trying to enjoy a nice meal out.
 
There are family restaurants, and there are establishments that welcome kids, early in the evening.
We did not take our children to a restaurant until they knew how to behave in an acceptable manner and they never were allowed to run around.
I am all in with higher end places that choose to not allow small children in. If the parents wish to dine there, they should leave the kids home with a babysitter. If they want to dine with the kids, then get the food to go.
 
I'm going to comment on one point specifically. Children shouldn't be allowed to leave their seats (run around) unless accompanied by an adult (for example, an adult accompanying a child to the bathroom). 30+ years ago (although I remember it was like yesterday) I was part of a large group that was eating at a fun, casual eating place (but known for their specialty drinks) when one couple at the table allowed their very young and very rambunctious children to run free and one ran between the legs of a server carrying a huge order and caused him to fall. The parents didn't apologize or anything. I was absolutely horrified! Thank goodness the server or other patrons weren't hurt.
 
The article is better and more balanced than the title might lead you to believe.

But what caught my attention was my personal experience. When I was living in NYC in the early 90s I had two young kids and a baby. My wife and I were both working and it was tough to live in/around NYC as a young family. We tried living in the city as well as out in Suffolk and commuting. Both had their merits and negatives. But it was tough. The final straw for me was taking my family to a restaurant in Manhattan that literally had a massive sign across the front of the building "Italian Family Restaurant." We went from 'Wow this sounds like the place for us' to getting dirty looks just walking into the place and we got stared down by both patrons and staff the entire meal for just the potential or ruining their pristine meal experience. Judged, convicted and executed before even committing a crime. My kids were extremely well behaved - unlike the rude people staring at us and mumbling curses at us. Some parents are irresponsible and they are to blame but it is no different from any other type of rude adult customer. We had similar experiences even at places like Church! I never give young parents any grief for their loud kids. I've had kids kicking my seat on a plane and I've seen the kids running around in restaurants. But I've also had adults kick my seat on a plane and plenty of loud talking adults making crass comments or otherwise drawing attention to themselves in restaurants and everywhere else. I've heard tons of grumbling or even cursing or yelling at parents to shut their kid up. But those same bullies wouldn't make those comments to less easy targets who were likewise being obnoxious or way more obnoxious than a mom struggling with a fussy baby.
 
Got to agree with you there, Paul. I had arranged a long weekend in Santa Fe for Larry’s birthday, B&B, dinners, 10,000 Waves visit…it was not a cheap trip. And one dinner was close to $200. It was utterly ruined by the loud, obnoxious drunk woman sitting across the small living room of the adobe house the restaurant was designed around. It was a family of four: drunk wife, husband and 2 kids: 75% of whom were mortified, but they stayed and ate.

I finally asked our waiter to move us to another “room” for dessert as our celebratory mood was dying. They kindly agreed and gifted us the desserts as an apology.

And while I was disappointed that his birthday dinner was ruined, I was more saddened by the expression on the kids' faces. I wanted to walk up to that woman, give her a slap "ala Cher in Moonstruck" and tell her to SNAP OUT OF IT!

bitchslap GIF

and act like a mother.

Unfortunately Will Smith has ruined that sort of mental retort forever.
 
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I’m kinda on the restaurant’s side here, but only because their experience has been tested and they’re done. That’s ok, plenty of other places to go and the restaurant has chosen to lose money rather than deal with the problems they’ve encountered. Their house, their rules.

On the flip side, if you have kids that can’t sit and must run around, you know this and should act accordingly. Give them and others a break til they are up to the task. Also, and this is more and more the case, if you don’t teach your kids manners and/or don’t use them yourself. Please learn/teach them, for you kids sake, if not your own.

On the flip, flip side, if you’re kids aren’t screaming or running, I’m ok if they stop by for a visit. 🙂

Old, get off my lawn, lady soapbox: I have a very strong memory of being no more than six, when out at a very nice restaurant with my parents, my dad made me speak up for myself to send something back (scrambled eggs full of shells, yes for dinner), but manners were no issue because we used them all the time at home (but when not at home you were on your very best manners), fast forward, the kids next door didn’t even use silverware till long after they were in school, no matter how much I tried to teach them given the parents didn’t. Etiquette seems to be considered old fashions nowadays and I know many adults ask me what to do when faced with a complicated silverware arrangement/bread plate, a wedding, a fancy restaurant, or how to have correct table manners because they are dining with their boss.

Fun fact: back when my mom became a hostess at a very high end restaurant out of high school, they sent her, and every employee, to a two week etiquette school before they could start their job. This might be a reason mom drilled etiquette into us.

PS: I’ve asked wait staff/mgrs to eject offensive drunk people from the restaurant. None ever did though. (Dad taught me to speak up for myself, see above, lol.)
 
I'm actually on the restaurant side too on the terms like you said their house, their rules. I worked in restaurants when I was younger and one of my daughters has been working at a higher end restaurant while in school. She has a lot of interesting stories but actually loves having kids/families come in. She recently told me about how a family came in and gave her an extra large tip. The kids were well behaved but she also managed the table professionally and took some extra steps to engage the kids at the table. The father was very grateful and they all had a great meal.

But I like what the author is saying in the article in terms of the bigger issues and maybe getting some stuffy jaded people to reconsider some of their prejudices and attitudes.
 
It is the parents who are the problem--as we all know. There is NO excuse for children running rampant in a public space of a restaurant. OUr kids have all worked in restaurants, managed them and now one has interest in 5. As servers I am sure they did as Paul's did and engage the kids. Our grands are expected to sit--when young, coloring books were brought even to a white tablecloth place.
 
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