favorite recipe collection? I was thrown off by the question and something fierce riled inside me. 15+ years of collecting recipes and you want me to hand them over to you? (Granted, if he searched here, he'd find most of them.) I'm sure I didn't handle it gracefully. Part of me feels justified. Another part of me feels like a jerk. What would you say?
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Question: To me it's a matter of etiquette. What would you say if someone asked for your entire
- Thread starter traca
- Start date
steve2-in-la
Well-known member
I wouldn't have given mine either (although I DID share with a close friend, years ago). Say some-
thing like "sorry,but you can buy a copy after they publish the first volume."
thing like "sorry,but you can buy a copy after they publish the first volume."
Sounds like a bit of a lazy person lacking creativity. I was going to give my entire
collection to a young woman who was moving to the other side of the world. She didn't ask, I was offering. I don't really care that someone has all of my recipes. I just would be stunned that someone would ask.
But your question.....what would we say.............. I might say that I don't have them organized in 'favourites' but I'd be happy to go through a category and pick out my favourites in that category if you tell me what you're interested in.
All of that would be true. I'd be relating it back to the work involved in picking out the favourites of thousands of recipes.
I think for someone who has the nerve to ask that, I might be less inclined to do the work to pick out the favourites. It would be considerable since they really are not organized that way.
Or you could say that you would be willing to pick a favourite out of each category and provide each of those recipes. Again, not quite so much work, you lazy twit.
(and I'd hardly worry about handling a question like that badly) I think that someone who just wants the work that someone else has done, probably won't appreciate it anyway.
collection to a young woman who was moving to the other side of the world. She didn't ask, I was offering. I don't really care that someone has all of my recipes. I just would be stunned that someone would ask.
But your question.....what would we say.............. I might say that I don't have them organized in 'favourites' but I'd be happy to go through a category and pick out my favourites in that category if you tell me what you're interested in.
All of that would be true. I'd be relating it back to the work involved in picking out the favourites of thousands of recipes.
I think for someone who has the nerve to ask that, I might be less inclined to do the work to pick out the favourites. It would be considerable since they really are not organized that way.
Or you could say that you would be willing to pick a favourite out of each category and provide each of those recipes. Again, not quite so much work, you lazy twit.
(and I'd hardly worry about handling a question like that badly) I think that someone who just wants the work that someone else has done, probably won't appreciate it anyway.
It depends.... it really depends who is asking
One of my friends in Brazil offered me HER full collection of recipes, gathered over decades, family recipes etc - I was speechless by the kindness of the offer, so I got it, printed it all out and spiral-bounded it, with the title "Anita's Recipes'. I love it!
If my close friends would ask me, I would not think twice about sharing - but a casual acquaintance? I would feel it's not appropriate, and a bit tacky to ASK.
Of course, what to say back is also a problem. I think I would offer to give her a little sampling, explaining that it took you years to assemble them all and they are a reflex of your cooking taste, therefore very personal. You think it would be better for her t develop this same type of database, so a little sampling can get her started and she can follow her own path from then on. This way you do not say NO, but you do not hand her your full collection...
I guess some people were actually raised by wolves?
One of my friends in Brazil offered me HER full collection of recipes, gathered over decades, family recipes etc - I was speechless by the kindness of the offer, so I got it, printed it all out and spiral-bounded it, with the title "Anita's Recipes'. I love it!
If my close friends would ask me, I would not think twice about sharing - but a casual acquaintance? I would feel it's not appropriate, and a bit tacky to ASK.
Of course, what to say back is also a problem. I think I would offer to give her a little sampling, explaining that it took you years to assemble them all and they are a reflex of your cooking taste, therefore very personal. You think it would be better for her t develop this same type of database, so a little sampling can get her started and she can follow her own path from then on. This way you do not say NO, but you do not hand her your full collection...
I guess some people were actually raised by wolves?
What Sally said. My personal favorites are a lifetime of recipes that I cooked for our family
before kids and especially as we were raising kids. I have comments on all of them such as....hubby loved, kids didn't. Or
one kid loved, the other two did not. After kids, I have them rated at NO or excellent. I never make a recipe a second time if it is not rated very good or excellent by both of us.
It really is a personal thing. I have a friend who I love dearly, but her idea of cooking is to cook a bunch of stuff on the grill, then freeze it. They basically eat from the freezer, or buy already made. She is getting better, I think but what I cook and make does not interest her....too much work, too much chopping, too many spices and herbs that she does not have, etc.
If someone asks me for a recipe, I gladly share.....or if they are stumped on what to fix for something special, I gladly help.
So, no, I would not go through years of favorites to just hand over to someone. One main reason is that some of my favorites from long ago.....I have made again and they are no longer a favorite....our food has changed, meat no longer tastes the way it used to, nor does many other products. My cooking has changed to reflect and correct that.
Now, I buy local, organic, and use the freshest ingredients I can buy....Farmers Market is my "go to" store, as are the organic markets where I can get chicken, beef, and the wild caught and in season seafood.
before kids and especially as we were raising kids. I have comments on all of them such as....hubby loved, kids didn't. Or
one kid loved, the other two did not. After kids, I have them rated at NO or excellent. I never make a recipe a second time if it is not rated very good or excellent by both of us.
It really is a personal thing. I have a friend who I love dearly, but her idea of cooking is to cook a bunch of stuff on the grill, then freeze it. They basically eat from the freezer, or buy already made. She is getting better, I think but what I cook and make does not interest her....too much work, too much chopping, too many spices and herbs that she does not have, etc.
If someone asks me for a recipe, I gladly share.....or if they are stumped on what to fix for something special, I gladly help.
So, no, I would not go through years of favorites to just hand over to someone. One main reason is that some of my favorites from long ago.....I have made again and they are no longer a favorite....our food has changed, meat no longer tastes the way it used to, nor does many other products. My cooking has changed to reflect and correct that.
Now, I buy local, organic, and use the freshest ingredients I can buy....Farmers Market is my "go to" store, as are the organic markets where I can get chicken, beef, and the wild caught and in season seafood.
I would have probably said something about what a nice compliment, but I keep recipes everywhere; in
by recipe books, magazines, computer files, emails, etc.... Was there a favorite that I have made that you were looking for? I can try to track it down for you.... I freely give up recipes and take it as a big compliement when a recipe is requested, I just would have no where to start, nor would I want to if requested for my entire list
That's basically how I would have responded
by recipe books, magazines, computer files, emails, etc.... Was there a favorite that I have made that you were looking for? I can try to track it down for you.... I freely give up recipes and take it as a big compliement when a recipe is requested, I just would have no where to start, nor would I want to if requested for my entire list
That's basically how I would have responded
Me too Orchid. My recipes are recipes, not the Crown Jewels.
It is flattering to me when somebody actually makes a recipe that came from me.
If you give 10 people the same recipe it will turn out 10 different ways. My way is always my way so my favorites turn out differently than when anybody else cooks them. My recipes are just a guide for me.
It is flattering to me when somebody actually makes a recipe that came from me.
If you give 10 people the same recipe it will turn out 10 different ways. My way is always my way so my favorites turn out differently than when anybody else cooks them. My recipes are just a guide for me.
And when someone (me) takes one and totally screws it up and
it still tastes good?! Cathy, remember it was me who made your Black Pepper Cheese Quick Bread to go along with a pot of soup and instead of adding 1/2 teaspoon sugar I added 1/2 cup? My mess up is great both ways. One for a breakfast/coffee treat and the other for a bowl of soup. I'm so glad I have this resource to cull from and Traca, that's a good point. Why not direct this person to this site to find recipes that they will want to try?
it still tastes good?! Cathy, remember it was me who made your Black Pepper Cheese Quick Bread to go along with a pot of soup and instead of adding 1/2 teaspoon sugar I added 1/2 cup? My mess up is great both ways. One for a breakfast/coffee treat and the other for a bowl of soup. I'm so glad I have this resource to cull from and Traca, that's a good point. Why not direct this person to this site to find recipes that they will want to try?
I think if the guy knew enough to ask for all of your recipes, he also must know that a portion of
your livelihood has come from interviewing and writing about cookbook authors. He must know you have traveled to conferences and publish a food blog that has been cited often.
I don't necessarily think he was rude. Why? Because he immediately reminded me of a young male coworker (20 years my senior) that I was teamed with for several months. One Friday, our six-person team was working late and this guy started scrolling through his phone and calling up girls, asking them to meet him for a drink around 10:00 PM. At each refusal, he said he'd call again and immediately called the next girl on the list. Eventually one girl agreed to meet him and he hung up with a smile. "Well, that's my bootie call for the night."
When I looked a bit...oh, we'll just say startled...his reply was quite revelatory: "I work the numbers. If I call enough girls, eventually one will go to bed with me."
This guy sounds like that. All he had to do was ask. If you said yes, he had himself 15 years of excellent recipes. If you said no, then he just had to scroll down to the next good cook in his world.
your livelihood has come from interviewing and writing about cookbook authors. He must know you have traveled to conferences and publish a food blog that has been cited often.
I don't necessarily think he was rude. Why? Because he immediately reminded me of a young male coworker (20 years my senior) that I was teamed with for several months. One Friday, our six-person team was working late and this guy started scrolling through his phone and calling up girls, asking them to meet him for a drink around 10:00 PM. At each refusal, he said he'd call again and immediately called the next girl on the list. Eventually one girl agreed to meet him and he hung up with a smile. "Well, that's my bootie call for the night."
When I looked a bit...oh, we'll just say startled...his reply was quite revelatory: "I work the numbers. If I call enough girls, eventually one will go to bed with me."
This guy sounds like that. All he had to do was ask. If you said yes, he had himself 15 years of excellent recipes. If you said no, then he just had to scroll down to the next good cook in his world.
I think you hit on some key points here. Not doing the work and very likely not appreciating what
was involved in both the accumulation and sharing. While it was flattering, I was bummed he didn't start by Googling what was already out there. Laziness is the primary thought at this point. He's in my cooking group and has never had a conversation with me like, "Which were your favorite recipes this month?"
Tonight we're making fried chicken and I said, "Tyler Florence's recipe is my all time favorite recipe."
His response, "I have a good version too."
So, you want my recipes but not make them? I'm so confused.
was involved in both the accumulation and sharing. While it was flattering, I was bummed he didn't start by Googling what was already out there. Laziness is the primary thought at this point. He's in my cooking group and has never had a conversation with me like, "Which were your favorite recipes this month?"
Tonight we're making fried chicken and I said, "Tyler Florence's recipe is my all time favorite recipe."
His response, "I have a good version too."
So, you want my recipes but not make them? I'm so confused.
Good point. I give recipes freely but I think it was his approach that bugged me. Over the past
year, I've shared tons of recipes with him. He likes to entertain and so do I. But in the end, he never makes them. So I was miffed. He's already gotten a big sampling of what's in my collection and doesn't seem too jazzed about them. Which is totally understandable. A friend of mine has his own favorites collection and shared it with me. When I saw what was there, I realized that our interests were very different. They may be ace recipes, but I don't really cook like that. (Homemade demi glace, etc.)
From a biographical point of view--a collection of Brazilian recipes or something like that, I would totally treasure them. And maybe that's the key. Now I'm wondering if it's less about the recipes and more about an attachment to me. This guy is a huge history buff and has really strong ties to the people who are close to him. I'm starting to see this whole thing in a new light. Perhaps the recipes...are like personal ephemera. I've already said no, but maybe I'll put together something more personal and give it to him for Christmas. smileys/smile.gif
year, I've shared tons of recipes with him. He likes to entertain and so do I. But in the end, he never makes them. So I was miffed. He's already gotten a big sampling of what's in my collection and doesn't seem too jazzed about them. Which is totally understandable. A friend of mine has his own favorites collection and shared it with me. When I saw what was there, I realized that our interests were very different. They may be ace recipes, but I don't really cook like that. (Homemade demi glace, etc.)
From a biographical point of view--a collection of Brazilian recipes or something like that, I would totally treasure them. And maybe that's the key. Now I'm wondering if it's less about the recipes and more about an attachment to me. This guy is a huge history buff and has really strong ties to the people who are close to him. I'm starting to see this whole thing in a new light. Perhaps the recipes...are like personal ephemera. I've already said no, but maybe I'll put together something more personal and give it to him for Christmas. smileys/smile.gif
G
Guest
Guest
In general, I am flattered when a recipe is requested, BUT
asking for an entire collection is a bit much. I agree with the "provide a few" crowd.
asking for an entire collection is a bit much. I agree with the "provide a few" crowd.
I would have directed them to this site, which I have done on occasion. A search on my name here
would reveal all my "secrets." (mostly other people's recipes.) Or I might say I'd be happy to send him an individual recipe or two on request, or send half a dozen of my chosen favorites.
I don't think it's reasonable to ask someone to email/copy/mail one's entire collection.
would reveal all my "secrets." (mostly other people's recipes.) Or I might say I'd be happy to send him an individual recipe or two on request, or send half a dozen of my chosen favorites.
I don't think it's reasonable to ask someone to email/copy/mail one's entire collection.
amanda_pennsylvania
Well-known member
I think it depends on the context of the request and one's life circumstances.
I know that you make your living by cooking and writing about food, so for someone to ask you to hand over a collection of your favorite recipes seems tactless.
I run into this a lot. I write poetry and after every reading, people come up to me and ask for copies of my poems. I struggled with this for a long time because I don't want to just hand them out. My project this year is to self-publish a book of poetry, so I'll just let people know they can buy it. Hopefully that will solve the problem.
Is publishing a cookbook a possibility for you?
I know that you make your living by cooking and writing about food, so for someone to ask you to hand over a collection of your favorite recipes seems tactless.
I run into this a lot. I write poetry and after every reading, people come up to me and ask for copies of my poems. I struggled with this for a long time because I don't want to just hand them out. My project this year is to self-publish a book of poetry, so I'll just let people know they can buy it. Hopefully that will solve the problem.
Is publishing a cookbook a possibility for you?