It's 4:15 AM and--stepping from the shower--I noticed that my Norman Rockwell 2016 calendar had expired. Flipping over December was a page dedicated to a horoscope.
Oh fun. Who doesn't love starting out the day wondering what the stars have in store for them:
Here's what Aquarius said:
BARREN. GOOD FOR CULTIVATION AND DESTRUCTION OF WEEDS AND OTHER HARMFUL GROWTHS. GOOD TIME FOR EXTERMINATION OF MICE AND RATS, PARTICULARILY WHEN THE MOON IS IN C AND D.
What????????
Where's the good stuff, like "you will come into unexpected wealth today" or "beware of falling in love with a tentacled alien"?
Apparently this is a Farming and Gardening table based on phases of the moon and all this time (for an entire calendar year, no less!) tiny icons on each month had been telling me when to plant beans, carrots and muskmelons, when to fish and when to pull undesirable growths.
Who knew? Maybe if they had put that handy table of information AT THE FRONT OF THE CALENDAR, I might have noticed it.
I would starve to death if left alone with my own brains.
Oh fun. Who doesn't love starting out the day wondering what the stars have in store for them:
Here's what Aquarius said:
BARREN. GOOD FOR CULTIVATION AND DESTRUCTION OF WEEDS AND OTHER HARMFUL GROWTHS. GOOD TIME FOR EXTERMINATION OF MICE AND RATS, PARTICULARILY WHEN THE MOON IS IN C AND D.
What????????
Where's the good stuff, like "you will come into unexpected wealth today" or "beware of falling in love with a tentacled alien"?
Apparently this is a Farming and Gardening table based on phases of the moon and all this time (for an entire calendar year, no less!) tiny icons on each month had been telling me when to plant beans, carrots and muskmelons, when to fish and when to pull undesirable growths.
Who knew? Maybe if they had put that handy table of information AT THE FRONT OF THE CALENDAR, I might have noticed it.
I would starve to death if left alone with my own brains.