Once upon a time we lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico** where we dined out once a week. There is an unwritten law in ABQ that—within 10 seconds of being seated—salsa and a basket of warm tortilla chips are delivered to your table. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t a Mexican restaurant; salsa and chips will still arrive. However, a bit more cash will bring a bowl of hot, gooey cheese dip called chile con queso. After six years of this weekly cheesy debauchery, I achieved the highest level of Southwest Being and became One with Queso.
After moving to Florida, my craving for queso returned and I tested recipe after recipe trying to reproduce the texture, taste, etc. A variety of cheeses were used—some imported, some ludicrously expensive, all pure. I searched for the right thickness and texture and taste-tested batch after batch, yet none matched my favorite from New Mexico.
Then I stumbled upon a cookbook from a New York City restaurant that specialized in chile. Within those hallowed pages, the author—God bless his soul—admitted that some of us are just Velveeta fools.
There it was—in print! The answer to my longings! The call of the Circe luring me onto the treacherous rocks of dip heaven! With vision and clarity, I realized I had traveled down the wrong path of enlightenment. No need for handmade boutique cheeses. No imported rounds for me. Boxed processed stuff was the key!
I had to stand up and admit: "Hello, my name is Marilyn and I'm a Velveeta-holic."
Sauté in a little olive oil until soft:
1 finely chopped onion
2 finely chopped jalapeno, seeds and veins removed (the more you add, the zippier it gets)
(jarred jalapenos are fine too. I usually add a bit of the liquid)
Add and simmer until liquid evaporates:
1/2 large can diced tomatoes, drained
1/2 small can green chili, diced (I prefer the whole ones to the canned diced or chopped versions)
1/2 tsp ground cumin
Add
16 oz box-o-Velveeta cheese, cubed
1 can Campbell's cheddar soup
Stir constantly until the mixtures reaches critical mass and melts, which should be just this side of chip-dippin’ heaven. Thin, if desired, with a bit of water. Carefully hide the bowl away until your guests leave and then munch out while watching old black & white monster movies in your jammies.
**During this time period, a University of Florida employee informed me that I had not received critical financial aid documentation because, and I quote: "...you’re living in another country." It did my cause no good to inform her that New Mexico was actually a state in this country. Really. Since 1836.
Note 1: I love the flexibility of this recipe. Not only can you enjoy it as dip, you can put a block out on your lawn as a salt lick for deer, sprinkle it over your sidewalks to melt ice or shove a chunk in your jaw as "Salt Chaw."
Note 2: For what it's worth, I've tried the "melt-Velveeta-in-salsa" trick and it's close, but this is closer to Nacho Nirvana. Cardiac Arrest Patients take care: do NOT add any salt to this! There's enough here to salinate a small lake. It is the price one must pay for speaking in third person.
After moving to Florida, my craving for queso returned and I tested recipe after recipe trying to reproduce the texture, taste, etc. A variety of cheeses were used—some imported, some ludicrously expensive, all pure. I searched for the right thickness and texture and taste-tested batch after batch, yet none matched my favorite from New Mexico.
Then I stumbled upon a cookbook from a New York City restaurant that specialized in chile. Within those hallowed pages, the author—God bless his soul—admitted that some of us are just Velveeta fools.
There it was—in print! The answer to my longings! The call of the Circe luring me onto the treacherous rocks of dip heaven! With vision and clarity, I realized I had traveled down the wrong path of enlightenment. No need for handmade boutique cheeses. No imported rounds for me. Boxed processed stuff was the key!
I had to stand up and admit: "Hello, my name is Marilyn and I'm a Velveeta-holic."
Sauté in a little olive oil until soft:
1 finely chopped onion
2 finely chopped jalapeno, seeds and veins removed (the more you add, the zippier it gets)
(jarred jalapenos are fine too. I usually add a bit of the liquid)
Add and simmer until liquid evaporates:
1/2 large can diced tomatoes, drained
1/2 small can green chili, diced (I prefer the whole ones to the canned diced or chopped versions)
1/2 tsp ground cumin
Add
16 oz box-o-Velveeta cheese, cubed
1 can Campbell's cheddar soup
Stir constantly until the mixtures reaches critical mass and melts, which should be just this side of chip-dippin’ heaven. Thin, if desired, with a bit of water. Carefully hide the bowl away until your guests leave and then munch out while watching old black & white monster movies in your jammies.
**During this time period, a University of Florida employee informed me that I had not received critical financial aid documentation because, and I quote: "...you’re living in another country." It did my cause no good to inform her that New Mexico was actually a state in this country. Really. Since 1836.
Note 1: I love the flexibility of this recipe. Not only can you enjoy it as dip, you can put a block out on your lawn as a salt lick for deer, sprinkle it over your sidewalks to melt ice or shove a chunk in your jaw as "Salt Chaw."
Note 2: For what it's worth, I've tried the "melt-Velveeta-in-salsa" trick and it's close, but this is closer to Nacho Nirvana. Cardiac Arrest Patients take care: do NOT add any salt to this! There's enough here to salinate a small lake. It is the price one must pay for speaking in third person.