"...so, in retrospect, perhaps that wasn't the best culinary idea..."

M

marilynfl

Moderator
Here's a bit of perspective before the following story:

Our team is working 70-80 hours a week to meet our deadline for delivery to the British military. Add in another 12-15 hours commuting for me, plus the fact that I don't sleep well because my brain is fried and it's taking my body along with it as a hostage.

Anyway...a group of young coworkers are running a half marathon for the Leukemia/Lymphoma organisation (oh look....now I'm spelling this in the British version) and is trying to raise $5000. I offered to bake some cupcakes for them, inspired because another young male coworker gave me a Johnny Cupcake bag that says "Make Cupcakes, Not War" as a thank-you for the treats I bring in on Saturdays.

I baked 2 dozen Kahlua Chocolate cupcakes with Dyslexic chocolate filling and Chocolate Buttercream icing, 3 dozen Silver Palate carrot cupcakes with lemon creamcheese icing, and 2 dozen vanilla cupcakes filled with fresh pomegranite/strawberry jam and fresh whipped cream icing swirled with jam.

With my long commute, I came up with the crazy idea to wait and ice the cupcakes at work. At 1:30 am, I pulled the tools together and grabbed three different large icing tips.

My friends...it wouldn't have mattered if Traca, Heather, Amanda or any of our authors had written beautiful prose to describe these cupcakes; the mere fact that I used a smooth 1/2" round tip to pipe the dark chocolate icing into a tall mound on each cupcake left me with nothing, but the visual of asking folks to pay $1 for what looked like a mound of dog poop.

What was your latest "perhaps that wasn't the best culinary idea?"

 
Oh, that reminds me that I haven't looked at the "Cake Wrecks" site in a while.

That is always her favorite, or as she calls it "poo frosting"

 
using good Greek yogurt for frozen yogurt---way too tart. cheaper is better in this instance.

 
HA!!! I can just visualize.... perhaps concentrate 'polka dots' woulda been better?? heehee

 
I once made "truffles" that turned out to be the filling intended for a chocolate shell. With great

pride, I brought them to work and since folks wanted to wait until after lunch to enjoy them, they sat on the office kitchen table, slowly warming into a pile that looked like dog doo. By the time the hour came around to actually eat them, they looked so horrible...I threw them out.

Ah, and then there's the vat of chili I made and tried to rush it. I was a new cook and invited 20 people over. A good scrape of the bottom of the pot brought up burned char, and I kept stirring. What the heck? I was clueless. Bless those bachelor boys...they managed to scarf some down (anything is better with cheese and sour cream, right?) AND they were kindly took home leftovers. I kept thinking, "Man, they must be really desperate." It was so bad...

Or then there's the Thanksgiving feast I prepared where Rachel Ray advised using cranberry muffins as stuffing. Not only was this a horribly expensive way to go about making it ($2.50 a muffin), but when I added liquid, they all turned to mush. I was mortified and it was the first meal I made for friends in my new home. No one who was there even remembers so I guess that's a good thing, right? LOL!

Sorry, the wave of blunders is coming back fast & furious....

 
Just turn down the lights.

That's how my FIL taught me to eat figs, so you can't see any wiggling added protein that might be present.

 
LOL! I had a friend that gave me similar advise when I mentioned that there might be a click or a

clack in my car. She mentioned I should just turn up the radio~

 
Making sopa seca de fideo (dry angel hair spaghetti soup) with bargain pasta-

Where the recipe needs to simmer 15 minutes or so to concentrate the flavors, regular angel hair will hold up, this stuff turned to a puddle of starch. I took the cover off the pan and was totally appalled at what I saw, and it tasted worse! The first time, I thought I'd left it unattended too long...the second time I knew it was the pasta.

 
Marilyn, I can easily visualize your chocolate frosting "dollops". How funny! My embarrassing REC

moment came when I attempted to recreate a mushroom topping for brie cheese that I'd seen a lady demo in a cooking class. Michele Braden's was delicious and looked so nice. I chopped my mushrooms too small + overcooked them in the red wine so they broke down/fell apart/mushed, and as my mother used to say: that sauce "looked like something a person wouldn't step in"!!!

Luckily, it still tasted super. I'd made it for a gathering of my garden club, and since those ladies already knew I could cook, I went ahead and served it. The gals were absolutely THRILLED that I'd made a culinary mistake or 2, but they consumed nearly every bite. I'll go ahead and post that recipe below--it is truly a tasty appetizer.

BRIE WITH ITALIAN MUSHROOM "CAVIAR"

A religious experience and definitely a splurge!

(From FAST AND FABULOUS PARTIES by Michele Braden)

4 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 onion, minced
4 ounces prosciutto trimmings, chopped
1 pound mushrooms, coarsely chopped (Michele mixed in some wild mushrooms for flavor.)
1/4 cup dry red wine
Salt & freshly ground, coarse black pepper, to taste (Michele told us we could use green peppercorns instead if we wished.)
1/2 cup toasted pine nuts, coarsely chopped
1-pound wheel or wedge of Brie cheese
Chopped Italian parsley

1. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet and add the onion and prosciutto. Cook over medium heat until the onion is golden.
2. Add the mushrooms and red wine. Continue cooking over medium heat, uncovered, until the mushrooms release their liquid and it cooks away, about 30-45 minutes. (Keep an eye on this step--may not take as long as stated. Wigs)
3. Place the Brie on an ovenproof serving plate surrounded and topped with the mushroom "caviar" mixture. Sprinkle parsley over top. Serve at room temperature -OR- bake in a 350-degree F oven for about 25 minutes or until warm. (Michele cooked in the oven.)

NOTE: I use a 2-lb wheel of Brie with the above mushroom topping amount.

FAST: Can prepare up to 3 days in advance and refrigerate, or freeze for up to 3 months.

FLASHY: Serve with Garlic Rosemary Crostini (see Michele's recipe below from p. 192).

FABULOUS: Tossed on hot pasta!


GARLIC-ROSEMARY CROSTINI

A delicious and zero cholesterol way to prepare garlic bread. The seasoned oil is something you may want to keep on hand in your refrigerator as a cooking oil for almost anything.

1 sourdough (or regular) French bread baguette
2 cloves of garlic, or more if you wish
1 cup olive oil
Salt and fresh (or dried) rosemary, chopped, to taste

1. Slice the baguette into thin slices and preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Combine all the remaining ingredients in a food processor fitted with the metal blade, or in a blender. Taste and adjust the seasonings.
3. Line cookie sheet with aluminum foil or parchment papter. Brush the slices of bread with the seasoned oil and place on baking sheet.
4. Bake until crisp, about 15 minutes.

Can prepare oil up to 5 days in advance and refrigerate in a jar. Can prepare bread through Step 3 up to 2 days in advance and refrigerate, covered with foil or plastic wrap.

 
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