What to make to bring over to a neighbor whose husband passed away? More info...

M

mariadnoca

Moderator
She's in her mid 70's and had a gastric bypass years ago. Mostly she's by herself and not too mobile, but I have seen a few elderly folks show in/out given the funeral is Sunday.

Would cookies be ok? Lemon pound cake? Or would sweets be a bad idea? It's just I have no idea if she is mostly alone or if some others are around to feed too. I also don't know if folks are coming over after the service for food/etc. (I don't really know her except to wave, but they've lived here a long time and sent flowers when DH passed, so want to do something.)

I don't normally make casseroles or the like and don't want to show up with too much food she's not ready to deal with, plus there's the limitations of the gastric bypass.

Thoughts?

 
how about a couple of different soups in serving size plastic containers that she can eat or freeze

for later. I wouldn't take tempting sweets. Maybe a small plate of tea sandwiches or containers of cut up mixed fruit?

 
When I visit my mom I cook a lot for her, grief effects your appetite

so I noticed that the dishes she would actually eat were comfort food related:

- chicken soup, both brothy and chunky
- beef stew
-mac n'cheese
- baked potatoes
- pie
- brownies
- maybe staples like cereal, yogurt and milk or juice, sometimes going to the store is an ordeal because people ask you how you are or don't know the loved one has passed and it makes it very painful.

Maybe you can ask her what some of her favorites are, or give her your favorite things? I packaged everything up in 2 cup portions, labeled them, froze them, and made a little sign to stick on the fridge of what was in there for quick reference.

When you are grieving, now is not the time, in my opinion, to try to think about healthy foods. My mom is diabetic but her numbers are really under control. If she wanted pie, she got pie, but I followed it up with something high in protein.

 
if you like to bake, a plain loaf pouncake, or lemon cake w/o icing would be a good choice. nice to

slice and serve with coffee or tea, and easy to put half in the freezer. too much food can be a burden.

 
I like what Janet said. Folks get overwhelmed with all the food brought to them

Make a very tasty vegetable soup, no meat, but full of flavor. No broccoli (I think it looks unpleasant in soup and casseroles. She most likely will want to eat a light, flavorful soup right away. Then I'd take a small casserole over that is already frozen, with instructions on how to heat it up. Perhaps include 1/2 of a frozen baguette that is buttered and flavored with herbs, that she can heat along with the casserole. If you'd prefer not to cook, ask her to put you on her call list, when she needs things from the grocery store, then later on when everything has calmed down, you could take her a dish for dinner or invite her over and get to know her better.

 
Can lemon curd be frozen? This made me think of pound cake & curd, if she could freeze it...

if she isn't ready to use it.

 
It looks now she has OOT guests, don't want to bring soup if it isn't enough for all...

her son is going to be moving in with her and comes by every day. So I think she is set on grocery shopping and such.

 
I always feel that anything you take says "I care" and it will

mean a great deal to her. You might think about individual servings of something--a mini-quiche, twice baked potato, soup as suggested, cut up fruit she could have at any time, bowl of fruit,

 
Having just spent 10 days with no appetite, I can vouch for plain chicken soup

with carrots and wide noodles. Sustained me for days because pretty much everything else made me nauseated.

And it freezes well.

 
My Favorites

I just went through this situation and the things that I turned to and loved were the soups, some tiny gluten-free muffins, and the fresh fruit.

 
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