Okay, hear me out.
I wasn't going to enter at all because I don't do fairs but the food coordinator for this event works at County Extension Center where I'm taking a gardening class and she was in a panic there might not be enough entrees. This was the first fair since 2020 COVID and she hadn't heard from her usual contestants. A sufficient number of entries was critical because AFTER the contest is over, all the desserts are cut up and sold piecemeal and the profits go back into the extension food teaching budget (ie: preserving food, etc). People definitely show up for that part.
So I decided "what the heck" and proceeded to bake entries for each of the five categories to help her out.
The first four were funded by King Arthur Bakers:
I had decided to ONLY bake stuff I have successfully made before so I wouldn't go off the rails. And yet I went so far off the rails that they're still clearing the wreckage (see earlier post about Volcanic Eruption Pie).
I made the Silver Palate Sour Cream Pound cake with pecans and my caramel sauce and thought it was the only entree I had a shot of winning. It baked perfectly but when I went to drizzle my caramel icing on, the lid popped off the container and spurted caramel everywhere. So I just spread caramel everywhere. It won nothing.
Next up was BH&G cinnamon rolls with cream cheese icing and I forgot to add the YEAST! Yes...yeast, the CRITICAL INGREDIENT for that category. The dough was oiled and ready for its first rise when I turned around and there was the unopened yeast package, just mocking me. Several swear words erupted because it was already 7:30 PM on Friday night. So you know what I did? I just ripped open that sucker and kneaded the dry yeast in. Then I swore some more while picking out the lumps of yeast that didn't disperse. Did that deter me? Hell no...I just ripped open ANOTHER package of yeast and proceed to knead that in dry. Surprisingly the dough did rise and I rolled it out, smeared the cinnamon/butter filling, cut and filled the baking pan. Then I put them in the refrigerator because they were getting baked Saturday morning. But oh..you have to wait almost TWO HOURS for cold dough to come to room temperature and so I put it near the preheated oven. And ALL THE FILLING MELTED OUT of the rolls and puddled at the bottom of pan. I was all sworn out by this time and just baked the damn thing. And yet, somehow, it won KA third place for yeasted item. Color me shocked.

Next up was Zoe Bakes Cakes Banana Bread with Nutella Swirl and I wanted a high defined bread but this recipe makes two small 8x4" breads. So I poured all the batter into a 9" pullman and baked it. And baked it. And baked it. That poor thing was probed so many times with a Thermapen to ensure the center was cooked that I could have submitted it to the Home Craft Sewing Event as a pin cushion. It won KA second place for quick bread.

I made Dorie Greenspan's Chocolate Chip cookie with so much extra chocolate that it was basically chocolate held together with a bit of dough. I baked them 45 minutes before delivery. It won nothing.
And finally Dorie Greenspan's All American Pie--with my additions. I've already written up that debacle in wig's thread, but it won Barber's Apple Orchard second place. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??? There was no filling left in that pie...it was crust with a bunch of sliced apples.

So anyway...this was my first--and last--county fair. All I can imagine is the judges were catatonic due to sugar overload because--to paraphrase Groucho Marx--any contest that lets this many goof-ups win isn't one I should be in.
I wasn't going to enter at all because I don't do fairs but the food coordinator for this event works at County Extension Center where I'm taking a gardening class and she was in a panic there might not be enough entrees. This was the first fair since 2020 COVID and she hadn't heard from her usual contestants. A sufficient number of entries was critical because AFTER the contest is over, all the desserts are cut up and sold piecemeal and the profits go back into the extension food teaching budget (ie: preserving food, etc). People definitely show up for that part.
So I decided "what the heck" and proceeded to bake entries for each of the five categories to help her out.
The first four were funded by King Arthur Bakers:
- pound cake
- yeasted item
- quick bread
- cookie/brownie
- double-crust apple pie
I had decided to ONLY bake stuff I have successfully made before so I wouldn't go off the rails. And yet I went so far off the rails that they're still clearing the wreckage (see earlier post about Volcanic Eruption Pie).
I made the Silver Palate Sour Cream Pound cake with pecans and my caramel sauce and thought it was the only entree I had a shot of winning. It baked perfectly but when I went to drizzle my caramel icing on, the lid popped off the container and spurted caramel everywhere. So I just spread caramel everywhere. It won nothing.
Next up was BH&G cinnamon rolls with cream cheese icing and I forgot to add the YEAST! Yes...yeast, the CRITICAL INGREDIENT for that category. The dough was oiled and ready for its first rise when I turned around and there was the unopened yeast package, just mocking me. Several swear words erupted because it was already 7:30 PM on Friday night. So you know what I did? I just ripped open that sucker and kneaded the dry yeast in. Then I swore some more while picking out the lumps of yeast that didn't disperse. Did that deter me? Hell no...I just ripped open ANOTHER package of yeast and proceed to knead that in dry. Surprisingly the dough did rise and I rolled it out, smeared the cinnamon/butter filling, cut and filled the baking pan. Then I put them in the refrigerator because they were getting baked Saturday morning. But oh..you have to wait almost TWO HOURS for cold dough to come to room temperature and so I put it near the preheated oven. And ALL THE FILLING MELTED OUT of the rolls and puddled at the bottom of pan. I was all sworn out by this time and just baked the damn thing. And yet, somehow, it won KA third place for yeasted item. Color me shocked.


Next up was Zoe Bakes Cakes Banana Bread with Nutella Swirl and I wanted a high defined bread but this recipe makes two small 8x4" breads. So I poured all the batter into a 9" pullman and baked it. And baked it. And baked it. That poor thing was probed so many times with a Thermapen to ensure the center was cooked that I could have submitted it to the Home Craft Sewing Event as a pin cushion. It won KA second place for quick bread.


I made Dorie Greenspan's Chocolate Chip cookie with so much extra chocolate that it was basically chocolate held together with a bit of dough. I baked them 45 minutes before delivery. It won nothing.
And finally Dorie Greenspan's All American Pie--with my additions. I've already written up that debacle in wig's thread, but it won Barber's Apple Orchard second place. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??? There was no filling left in that pie...it was crust with a bunch of sliced apples.


So anyway...this was my first--and last--county fair. All I can imagine is the judges were catatonic due to sugar overload because--to paraphrase Groucho Marx--any contest that lets this many goof-ups win isn't one I should be in.
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