Random: I thought I knew how to set a table but now I’m not so sure

[mariadnoca]

So I’ve been sorting through dishes, deciding what to keep what to get rid of, etc. This has also taken me to looking at tablescapes on the Internet, and then deciding, wow there’s a higher percentage of people that don’t know how to set a table than I expected. So that lead me down the rabbit hole of how to set a table. Some don’t even get the basics I learned as a kid, when it was my job to set the table, correct. Most get close, but add a butter plate and more than one glass and things may quickly go astray.

Now we know there’s the American style and the French style, but then when I started looking up diagrams of how to set a proper table, they’re often inconsistent. For example, the butter knife is it across the butter plate at 11 & 2, or is it an an 10 - 4 angle on the butter plate, and which direction does the handle face? These are often different, but most often it’s the glassware that’s inconsistent on placement. Some place glassware all in a row, someplace it basically in a square, most agree that the water goblet goes above the dinner knife, but then things get inconsistent too. Then there’s things like a here’s teaspoon (not the dessert spoon) to go with no cup and saucer, which leads one to ask do we have staff serving guests in this scenario or not?

i’m not exactly planning a multi-course meal anytime soon, but I’m left with the feeling that I thought I knew how to do something and now I’m not so sure. Where is Mr. Carson when I need him?

 

[Marg CDN]

Mr. carson's British rules are completely diff from Continental as well. It was Emily Post, I believe, who rearranged things for service on this side of the world, again, differing from Carson. I like her style...organized, attractive, practical and not stuffy. I find that today, I am impressed if I can just find the dinner knife facing inward.

I like to mess with the dessert utensils and have a bit of fun with them. And btw, my butter knife sits at 10&2.

My parents had so many dinner table rules that I used to think were silly but which I still follow today.

 

[marilynfl]

All I know is forks on left (salad outside, dinner inside), knife & spoon on right, knife facing to plate. Dessert cutlery above dinner plate. Bread dish on left, drink on right. I put water glass and wine glass at angle on upper right side. My dining table is only 3' x 4' so not a lot of room for well, anything.

Or else I just sit on couch with a frozen dinner on my lap.

 

[mariadnoca]

I hear you! Things I’ve noticed:

bread plate goes on the left, but nobody seems to agree on the placement of the bread spreader knife on that plate. I always thought it went across the top of the plate (at 11 o’clock and 2 o’clock) blade pointed down and to the left, handle to the right. Now I’ve seen it said that it’s properly placed at an angle and I’ve seen it placed on the table above the bread plate and I’ve seen it placed across the plate with the handle facing both to the left and to the right.

I learned utensils should only be on the table if they are going to be used and a teaspoon that’s not above the plate for dessert should only be placed if a cup and saucer are on the table for coffee (unless there’s a fruit course in which case all bets are off). Because proper formal service means that the cup saucer w it’s teaspoon would be served after the meal together, so the teaspoon shouldn’t be there unless there’s a corresponding piece of tableware.

glassware seems a bit odd because the water glass is shown above the knife, like I learned, but it could be a line of glassware with the different corresponding red wine, white wine whatever courses but it’s also placed in a square and it’s interesting because then the water goblet seems to always be placed in the back so you’re gonna have to knock over one of those wine glasses if you want a drink of water, which just doesn’t sound right because etiquette is usually always set up for convenience of the guest. The way I assume with formal service is, as each course is cleared the corresponding wine glass would also be cleared. However, I expect none of these table settings were meant to be occurring at Downton Abbey with staff serving each course.

(Btw, Salad fork goes to the left of the dinner, fork, but only in America because in America salads are typically served first. In France you will see the dinner fork and then the salad fork because salad typically comes after the main meal.)

All this is likely bugging me because Mom taught me how to set a table. In my history, as a young girl Mom got a job at the fanciest restaurant/hotel in Denver and as part of that, they sent her to a finishing school for two weeks before she could start her job as a hostess. Can you imagine a restaurant doing that now?! One of the things they did was teach her how to set a table properly. So now I’m questioning all of it, because how is my ocd going to know which is correct? (Said the woman who when doing corporate and international events went around the tables w a ruler like Mr Carson.)

 

[marilynfl]

speaking of bread plates, a local restaurant now offers "FREE BRUSCHETTA"...with any entree OVER $25. Not the whole meal, mind you...the ENTREE has to be over $25.
Soooo...that free bread that used to come with every meal is now gone...but available if you fork over enough $$ for the entree.

It's not even focaccia. It's stale, toasted loaf bread with a fancy name. And no mention of personal bread plates, so I guess the placement is center of the table.

 

[mariadnoca]

speaking of bread plates, a local restaurant now offers "FREE BRUSCHETTA"...with any entree OVER $25. Not the whole meal, mind you...the ENTREE has to be over $25.
Soooo...that free bread that used to come with every meal is now gone...but available if you fork over enough $$ for the entree.

It's not even focaccia. It's stale, toasted loaf bread with a fancy name. And no mention of personal bread plates, so I guess the placement is center of the table.

Ewww, and it’s not even bruschetta.