Calibrating a gas oven? My sister won't fix her oven so I have to cook funeral foood at niece's???

M

mariadnoca

Moderator
Excuse me if I'm a bit peeved, but I'm making all the after memorial service food and...her oven isn't fixed (when I was there last it wasn't heating right at all because her husband pulled it out and tweaked the door, but he fixed that and it still doesn't heat correctly). And she just emails me I can use the oven at my niece's house...20 mins away.

Seriously? How am I to serve people after the service who come back to her house?? I mean I'm not the caterer, I need to go to the service of my mom!

GRRRRRRRRRR.

Any ideas?

 
That is so rotten, putting the work on you. I asked about funeral food ..

when my dad passed away a few years ago. Here is the link of all the kind responses. Costco was of enormous help and we did not heat anything that day. (One relative brought a pan of hot enchiladas straight from her oven which was so nice but wasn't needed.) It's nuts to think you should cook 20 minutes away so don't!!!: Go with cold foods like salads and fruit.
http://eat.at/swap/forum1/113297_HELP_with_funeral_lunch_at_home_many_allergies

 
I agree...cold salads, appetizers, fruit/cheese plate. Tell her there won't be any hot food.

If she wants to contribute, let HER go bake in someone else's oven.

 
I would most definitely go with cold or room temp dishes, or something that can be made

ahead and re-heated in a microwave.

I do understand that you want to cook and have things a special and certain way for this occasion to honor your mom, but if it were me, I'd also want to be able to be in mental "space" and process what is happening without stressing or being aggravated about the logistics.

((((Maria))))

 
Very unfortunate. Just what you need. You have no choice but to do room temp foods now. At least it

may make decisions easier with fewer choices.

So sorry.......

 
Funeral cooking

Is your sister's stove top working? You could do a big pot of soup to go along with sandwiches and other cold foods. Also what about crockpot/slowcooker meals?

 
Unbelievable! My advice is to hire a caterer and have the bill sent to your sister! If

there are certain hot foods you want to serve, give the caterer your (or your mom's) special recipes to prepare. I offer that idea to many of my catering clients for such an occasion, and it's always very well received.

Maria, you would even need a flat-bottom interior in your vehicle in order to transport cooked food, or you'll have it sloshing or spilling all over the inside of your car. You need something w/ a floor that is totally flat inside. Last fall my husband & I spent 3 solid months searching out such an animal to replace my old station wagon.

Here is another idea: You make and pre-prepare all food stuffs as much as is possible. Then write out any baking instructions and hand those to your sister RIGHT before the funeral, thereby putting her in TOTAL CHARGE of all the last-minute & on-site baking & any re-heating. Be sure and tell her your part of the reception is DONE, and now it's all up to her because she will know best the idiosyncrasies & quirks of her own oven. You will be able to interact with the attendees and mingle with no qualms which is the way it should be. Do NOT warn your sister in advance--you may even need a few people in the family to witness your turning over of your directions so she cannot dump the load back onto you. This is quite a dirty trick she's pulling on you, IMHO. Grrrr. I can hardly believe a sibling would do such a thing, but on second thought and given the dynamics in my personal family, I guess I can. God bless you and good luck.

 
Take a moment for you, Maria. This is your time to say goodbye/honor your mom's memory.

You are NOT the caterer; you are the grieving daughter.

Prepared trays of sandwiches and fruit are fine.

 
Exactly what Marilyn said. People are coming for the family, not the food. This is a sign. Go easy

on yourself. I know, with everything in turmoil the thing I want most, is to play my strengths. My brother died last year, and when I went home, I was prepared to write the obituary, write something for the funeral, flex my event planner skills, and cook. But my dad's grieving took over and he did most of it...or delegated tasks to some else. It was tough--especially because I wanted to contribute in some way, but in the end, I was there to simply be present, and take in the moment. It was hard, but necessary. In the end, it all worked out great.

Grief is tough. And it amplifies everything. Try to breathe and relax a little. Keep the food simple, and take in the moment.

 
you can go to the deli and get several pounds of "ham off the

bone" sliced thin and arranged on a platter. This is delicious ham--just like you would bake at home.
then have maybe a selection of pasta salad, marinated asparagus, seven layer salad, couscous salad, some nice rolls and some condiments if people want to make a little sandwich. Have some grapes arranged around the ham platter for picking up a bunch. If you wanted to have one hot casserole item--a creamed spinach or such--your sister's oven would be up to the task of heating it surely or do it in the microwave.
then the chocolate pie.
No need for any heat or special bowls, etc.

 
crockpots. we had 1 big pot of soup that was very comforting. you could have veggie chili or a

creamy broccoli cheese. a nice big pot of Italian beef works well with buns for the meateaters. easy. make the beef ahead, chill and slice and warm in crockpot with au jus. not fancy but it serves well. sliced ham too for the buns.

 
This is one of those times when you just need to say 'NO' but if not here are some ideas

I am used to others cooking for the family and not the family in mourning doing the cooking. But here are some things where the oven being calibrated doesn't really matter and they can be made in advance and served room temp or just rewarmed

Since you said she was a Southern cook from Texas -
Cowboy caviar dip - healthy & vegetarian
Pecan tassies
Biscuits or rolls with ham (from Costco)
Fried chicken but do wings - room temp fried chicken is good and finger food
Funeral rolls - ham, poppy seed mustard dressing are so easy and better made the day before and just warmed - oven temp isn't critical
Crockpot cooked meat like carnitas and serve with corn tortillas
Wonton or tortilla cups with a salad in them
Any good congealed salad or fruit salad (sorry but it's definitely a Southern thing and I still love them!)
Deviled eggs

 
I have found really that this really helpful phrase is "That won't work for me, so we can do

room temperature foods or things that can be reheated in the microwave, given that your stove doesn't work."

And then drop the mic.

I am so sorry for your loss and I know the stress of this food issues are not helping right now. Just put a smile on your face if you speak to her (even on the phone) or while you are typing..

 
What Marilyn said grabbed my heart strings...

you are not the caterer, you are the grieving daughter. If you absolutely feel you must provide the food, go with the excellent suggestions made here.
Hugs to you

By the way, this is in the LA area, right? Go to a local Safeway, and ask for suggestions for memorial service trays. The Safeways here do a wonderful job and I hear many great compliments. Order a few, delegate a family friend to pick them up, while you and your family have private time together.

 
Thanks -I may still make the day before and get my neice to bake/hot box it.

Enchilada casserole would be easy and 90% of the people there are vegetarians, so not going to do ham or anything like that as it would be a waste. Soup or chili might be nice if it were cold, but here in droughtville it's top down on the convertible or jump in the pool weather. And enchiladas mean margaritas, another mom fave (my sister does make a mean margarita using the limes from her tree).

However, my sister, the artist, cares not for cooking/food/entertaining. I've accepted she is like this. It's just not her thing, so if left to her she would buy grocery store stuff and complain about how much work it was. I'm.not.kidding. (Long story short, after much arguing about having a 90th BD party for mom she relented: didn't bother to clean, served tuna and PB&J sandwiches fixings she already had and kool-aid in mismatched kid dixie cups/paper plates she found in the cupboard. I was appalled.) So you see why I'm taking control of the food and flying in early to make sure the house is clean.

If I do something room temp how does lavash rolled-up sandwiches, salad and some sort of munchies (dip/cookies/etc) sound? Those sandwiches are everywhere I know, and it just reminds me of catered office meeting food, but right now my brain is not being inventive. I'm stymied by the vegetarian main dish part, but I guess I could make veggie/avocado and a few turkey/chicken ones.

 
Cheese and butternut squash enchiladas, or add corn? That would make a nice

vegetarian option.

I like the idea of lavash sandwiches. At my stepdad's memorial service reception last year a dear family friend made little roll up sandwiches with ham, green onions and cream cheese with a touch of horseradish. She had a very beautiful veggie platter with dips in bell peppers, I think she had hummus and something else. She had platters of cookies and a huge cheese platter with fruit and nuts in attractive clumps. She made a shrimp and crab molded spread that is always a big hit. There were finger sandwiches on a tray - egg salad, a very nice tuna, you could do a vegetarian one, and she had turkey and roast beef (or safeway or a nicer grocery store can do all of these and then you can replatter onto nicer serving dishes.)

I remember it was all such a blur and the bandwidth to handle cooking or organizing anything was really poor, so if you feel comfortable, try to give yourself the space to have the niece pick up the foods or whatever so that you can just focus on getting the house ready and being with your family.

 
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