Of course you are both right, but food/cooking/feeding help me get through these things.
It makes it more personal and that has meaning for me. Doing that, for me, honors mom and helps me.
I did the same thing when my husband died, I served all his favorite foods...it comforted me, but then again, I had my own kitchen at hand. So, I may need to sway in the wind on this, but since so many are vegetarians I have to plan a bit because I don't have go to recipes for that.