Can I just post a small food rant, because I know you will understand?

M

mariadnoca

Moderator
I talked (via text) to my SIL today about her daughter-in-law's baby shower. It's going to be pretty mini desserts. Pinterest style.

I say P style because I see so many people making parties/food to look pretty and don't pay attention to how they taste! She sent me a picture of a 6 inch ombre cake she plans to make. I know it will come from a cake mix and canned icing, but look fairly pretty when it's done (it won't be covered with roses because she hasn't tried and doesn't know yet it's not going to work like she thinks it will). She's also asked my other SIL to make fruit tartlets - she sent a photo of what she wants (it's pro level). I know her skill level as well, she doesn't really do desserts and doesn't even own tartlet pans.

So this brings me to my question...why didn't she ask me, who bakes from scratch, who has done 6 inch cakes, ombre cakes, fancy cupcakes and tartlets before?

What I got asked to bring was anise cookies - why? Because my niece wanted them for the funeral. Turns out they never knew I could make them so want more, and I'm happy to bring them, but the thing is... of course I could make them - I bake!

(annnnd scene)

I think I just miss having the opportunity to make nice things being it's only me these days. Plus, I dearly love this niece (who really appreciates nice things) and I'm not going to be able to make her something nice.

 
I think you need to relay that to your SIL!! Maybe she doesn't want to "burden" you??

You never know what someone is thinking. TELL her you would really like to do .... whatever .... and why. She might just be hoping you'd volunteer.

 
I did...

Offering to help got the request for the cookies, then I went back/forth offering to take on more, but no.

 
Might your SIL be a tad envious of you and your skills, and not want you to show her up? There is

one thing I have learned over the years and that is not to plan any food event with texting. Miscommunication seems to happen so easily. If I cannot talk with them face to face, I call them.
The folks who feel it is OK to use boxed cakes and canned icing, but still deliver a pretty product are used to that kind of food and think nothing of it. I have touched a lot of nerves by making comments about this subject.,Anymore, I tend to do things myself the best I can do and let the rest go. Saves me a blood pressure rise and a lot of frustration.
I have no experience with boxed cakes except for Angel Food, and have never used the canned icings but i have had them at others homes and most were very good.

 
Sounds like it's her party and she wants a chance at making the beautiful things you do.

I'd let it go. It's a learning experience for everyone. They'll learn it's not that easy and it's a skill you built over time. Perhaps they want a bit of that praise you typically get. Who knows? Around here, they'd skip inviting you at all for that reason, so be glad you got an invite and be charming.

 
Yeah, I'm over it but I knew you all would understand

The thing is...it will all taste, not good, and that's what bothers me. Canned Sandra Lee food. Why make pretty stuff when it tastes bad?

But let her have fun with it. (I will eat before I go.)

 
Deep breath in.....and hold.....okay, let it out. Sounds like Mom wants to contribute

without competition. There will be lots more opportunities for your star to shine.

 
Yes, we understand. I run into it now and then AND people who truly don't taste the difference

I say let them have it...not worth wasting your good ingredients and hard work on.

 
"It's my party and I'll bake if I wanna".. I think she doesn't want to be outshone at her party. ...

As for the desire to bake or cook - I totally understand this since I
am alone also. So cooking I have fairly covered - Fri. nite dinners here very often for family and when I want to do more I make a reason for a party or get together - a friends birthday (make a brunch breakfast, lunch or whatever. A memorial date - I just had some 15 people for lunch in memory of my husband. Or just a get together without a reason.
As for baking - I sometimes take cookies to the riding stables where my granddaughter trains, or the greengrocer who I know for years or
to my older neighbours or whatever.

So keep baking !!!

 
I completely, totally, understand your frustration. All I can tell you is make those anise cookies

the best anise cookies in the world. And maybe a handmade card? Your niece will appreciate it. I agree with the others here that your SIL doesn't want to be upstaged.

 
I know it's frustrating when you can do it so well, but I will say I've eaten some pretty good cakes

that were made from a mix, especially ones that were doctored up, such as from The Cake Mix Doctor.

 
Trust me, she doesn't doctor them. I've tasted what she makes and when

I was a kid, cake mixes didn't taste bad to me, but now they do. Especially the devils food, which was my favorite as a kid. I don't know if it's my tastes that have changed or the mixes - or both.

 
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