Lost my cooking mojo

A

amanda_pennsylvania

Well-known member
Hi all,

I have missed you all after many months away. We've had a stressful summer; Andy's dad died last December and now we're (sort of) caring for his mother who has early dementia. She still lives mostly on her own, but doesn't cook at all (or even work the microwave) so comes to our house for dinner. She has a very limited pallette, so will only eat the most basic of foods (this is not new; she's never really liked food).

It's very frustrating to cook for her since she doesn't really like anything (except vanilla ice cream!). So I've sort of lost my enthusiasm for cooking, but need to get back into the kitchen.

Anyway, does anyone have any good, basic recipes? Nothing too fancy or spicy. Beef, pork, chicken are all good. I'll be combing through the archives, but would be glad for any help.

I have missed my cooking family. smileys/smile.gif

 
Hi missy! Have missed your smiling voice. Does MIL like vanilla ice cream because...

*it's sweet?
*it's cold?
*it's simple-tasting?

If it's the last, then you're in luck. You can make her custards (lots of calories for a little bit), quiches (without the fru-fru bacon and leeks), bread puddings, rice puddings, tofu entrees.

 
I hope your MIL is getting some medical help--there are some hopeful things

on the horizon--and slowing treatments now. and it can also be important to know the type of dementia and that she has been monitored for some "fixable" things--thyroid, vitamin D, vitamin B12, etc. I know your pain.

Fish? Tilapia is mild but also firm and takes to a quick saute in some oil. I dip it in a little butter, then potato flakes to adhere and then saute.
How about pasta farfalle works well for being easier to eat also) wiith some grilled (stir fried is easier) chicken breast chunks. Use some store bought (or not) alfredo sauce, with a few roasted tomatoes tossed in--you get the idea.
A plain roasted chicken--what is better!! Slice two big onions and put the chicken on top. Liberally season the chicken with Morton's Natural Seaoning salt (my fave) or just some kosher salt and pepper. Bake at 425* for 1.25 hours. It will be lovely and golden. The "gravy" in the bottom with the onions is totally divine--you can degrease and pour over sliced chix pieces. Also can put 2 lemons, quartered in the chicken cavity. Mashed potatoes or egg noodles with some green peas are a good go with.
Just good summer sliced tomatoes right now. Peach cobbler.

For your MIL, reading an escapist novel is a really good exercise for the mind and dementia patients.. It has been shown that the brain actually "lights up" with the reading (and NOT TV!) as if the person was actually doing the action--skiing down a hill, etc. Interesting stuff. Exercise is the VERY best way to help. It will make a difference in her life and yours.
Good luck.

 
Howdy, Marilyn. smileys/smile.gif

She *might* eat a custard; I doubt I could get her to eat any of the other dishes. I like the idea of custard--nice and light. I sometimes do scrambled eggs for dinner and she's ok with that.

 
Good food ideas--thanks much.

Unfortunately, she flatly refuses to go to the doctor; I think we will have to force the issue pretty soon as one of her meds is going to run out. She refuses to go to any senior center for activities--basically, she doesn't want to interact with anyone but us. She sits at home and waits for me to pick her up in the afternoon, then she sits in our house and waits for my son to get home from school. I don't think she's capable of reading anymore. I try to give her small tasks to help out with at home (setting the table, sorting things, doing the dishes, sweeping the deck and patio). It's been a real challenge.

 
Amanda, I know a little about being a care giver because we have faced it a few times

and I may have more of it coming up in my future. It is important for you and your family to keep as much of your normal routine as possible. I certainly would not adjust my eating habits or those of my family. Keep a supply of vanilla ice cream for her, maybe yogurts if she likes those. Sargento has a wonderful product out. It is basically a small clam shell with chunks of white cheddar, and a side of dried fruits, such as cranberries, golden raisins, and almonds or cashews In my store, they are with the lunchables. Very healthy, and something she can eat with her fingers and filling. I have found that sometimes with older folks with eating issues have some deep seated issues going on from the past regarding food. Maybe the wonderful aromas coming from your kitchen will spark some interest. Just keep your usual cooking up, and make sure there are things available for her. Does she like cottage cheese? She can put some cut up fruit with it. There a many prepared puddings out there that are very good too. Oh, and many of the yogurts available now have wonderful little side kicks which come with teeny chocolate chips, almonds and other assorted goodies, they are very good.
I used to whip up milkshakes for my mom, you can throw in honey, a protein powder even fruit. Don't forget about Ensure, Boost and other ready to go drinks which contain all the vitimans and minerals. I gave those to my husband when he lost a lot of weight due to working outside so much and was not getting enough calories.

That is great that she will eat meat, if she does not like your sides, or the casserole you have made, point her to her "Special Shelf" in the fridge and ask her to pick and choose what she want from it. Have the above (whatever she likes) available plus in season fruits that you and your family are eating at the time.

 
YOu MUST get her to a doctor. This could REALLY be treatable and NOT dementia.

Please do not wait. She is also undoubtedly dealing with depression from her husband's death which is also a very treatable thing--and it may be dementia. I have more than passing experience with this and urge you to make an appointment immediately. Her primary care giver could be a start but I would also find a neurologist specializing in memory problems.
A doctor is your first priority.

 
oh Amanda, you just described my MIL. To perfection. Wouldn't go to the library (1 mile away)

wouldn't go to church, wouldn't go to volunteer opportunities, wouldn't go to senior citizen outings.

She didn't want to be around "those old damn people."

She was 80.

 
I agree with Charley. I have a family member who was diagnosed early dementia or possibly Alzheimer

but that was only after three weeks of testing with written and verbal skill tests. It was grueling. Also a head X-ray is necessary first to rule out tumors. Dementia and Alzheimer's are two different things and how she progresses and what she does will be the determining factor. Maybe it is neither.

 
Thanks for the advice.

My FIL had gotten her to the doctor about a year before he died; from what he told us, the doc didn't have much to say about possible dementia or Alzheimer's one way or the other. It was so frustrating because my husband wanted to be at that appointment, but they only told us about it after the fact. And I'm sure the doc didn't ask her any of the right questions and my FIL probably didn't give him any of the right information.

She has *always* refused to go the doctor, though. She's never had a PCP, never had a checkup or anything, so this is nothing new. She's very, very stubborn.

It's all very challenging.

 
Not to put too fine a point of it, Alzheimer's is a form of dementia of which there are

quite a number and, some are truly worse than AD. All are cruel, but there are drug trials now, and there is Namenda, the next generation after Aricept. None turn it back but they can slow it.

 
She can help YOU and herself by agreeing to go to the doctor. Early diagnosis is

more blessing than curse.

AND the VERY best ongoing activity for the brain is EXERCISE--young or old. But for demetia patients, it is life giving.

 
There are tests online you can give her, like the clock test; My mom had dementia...

Loss of interest in food is a very common symptom and is in fact what my mom passed from - she stopped being hungry/eating.

It does sound like she might have dementia issues, and some of the meds did help mom in the earlier stages (and I read of a new breakthrough drug just today). The meds and moving her to assisted living (stimulation) vs. living alone both caused an improvement.

Being stubborn often gets worse with dementia patients, mom only could be coxed with ice cream for a time too. If she saw you making food she'd tell you not to make any for her/then refuse to eat, but if she hadn't seen you make food and you just put it in front of her surprise like she'd eat only because you'd gone to the trouble of making it.

Also, consider easy to swallow foods. Chewing/swallowing can become an issue.

Firs thing that popped in my mind food wise is the chicken and beef noodle casseroles in T&T from NLB or Bunny. You could make them and freeze single portions for her you could zap quick and easy while still eating things you like for your main meal. If you can get her to start drinking Boost/Ensure too that will help.

Also, you might (likely will) have to trick her to going to the dr. Have her go with you on errands and just take her there. You might look for a better dr than the guy who didn't say anything much. She should have a geriatric dr that will work with you and maybe a neurologist if she does have dementia. Early intervention is a great help, so sooner the better.

Good luck and big hugs to you! This is a difficult road and the sooner you can get needs/routines in place the easier it will be on everyone.

 
There is an interesting statistic with AD and dementia--the person in the family that first diagnose

it is the daughter-in-law. Not hard to understand with the desire of the family AND the afflicted person to DENY. Denial is the worst thing to do particularly in this time with drug trials available AND the FACT that some forms of memory loss are due to thyroid insufficiency, vitamin B12, alcohol consumption, circulatory problems, Parkinsonism, etc.
Can you see why a doctor's complete workup would be beneficial.

And with regard to food, it is well documented that one of the symptoms of dementia is diminished sense of taste/desire for SALT/bad tasting foods of some kinds.

IMO, doing a test from the internet for cognitive ability is a non-starter--what do you do with that information without the advice of a specialist.

Alzheimer's Associations everywhere are goldmines of correct and helpful information. http://www.alz.org/

 
So many good suggestions here from folks who have had the experience to share

not only do we help each other with foodie stuff but so much more! Great, isn't it?

 
Tapioca pudding? I love tapioca pudding--plain or w/ crushed pineapple folded into it.

Also, you might try some of the recipes on the back of a packet of Jay Robb's Whey Protein Powder. I make myself the Pre-Energizer Protein Drink before I go work out. It's GOOD!

Recipe:
12 oz. water or nonfat milk (I prefer 6 oz. of milk--either 2% or whole.)
1 scoop Whey Protein Powder
1/2 banana
Mix in blender and Enjoy!
NOTE from Wigs: I will oftentimes add 2-3 ice cubes and a scoop of vanilla ice cream to the above mixture. Fab!

My grocery store carries the Jay Robb Whey Protein packets so it's easy to find. (Kroger's in Indiana) I will add a link to this Jay Robb product so you know what you're looking for. It also comes in other flavors (chocolate, strawberry, pina colada), but I like the vanilla best and can add chocolate syrup if I wish or strawberries or other fruit.

https://www.luckyvitamin.com/p-134102-jay-robb-whey-protein-isolate-powder-vanilla-12-oz?utm_medium=PLA&utm_source=bing_shopping&utm_campaign=Bing%20Shopping&scid=scbplp2946919&sc_intid=106130

 
Hi, Amanda! If U haven't already come to this conclusion--when taking care of my mother during the

last 3 years of her life--(She passed in 2009 when she was 87.)--she very much reminded me of when my sister's kids were about 2 to 3 years old--stubborn, contrary, wouldn't try anything new, yadda, ya. ARGH! We 3 kids (my sister, brother & I) all thought Mom's forgetfulness and shuffling foot movements when walking were merely a normal part of aging. Even Mom's PCP said she was doing okay--while I was present at one appointment, he gave her a verbal test of 30 questions (examples: Name 3 different types of trees for me, Elaine; What year is it? etc), and she got 27 correct out of 30.

But then shortly after taking that little evaluatory quiz, she came to visit me and my husband for a couple weeks, and once when she answered the phone, she told the caller she was sorry, but she didn't know him--he must have dialed the wrong number and so she was going to hang up. I asked to talk to the person, and it was MY BROTHER! I promptly took Mom to my family doctor because I thought my PCP would be more thorough, and he immediately sent us to a neurology group in town. After a team at that practice went over Mother, she was diagnosed with Parkinson's and the memory loss problems associated with Parkinson's Disease! Aricept cleared her mind up fairly well, and then the neurologist thought that adding a small amount of Namenda would help things even more, and eureka, that combination of meds pretty much did away with her mental fog! He also started her on Prozac, and her attitude improved markedly.

This was back in 2006, and there is a lot more that has been developed in the realm of medicine since then so yes, please get your MIL to a good doctor for a head-to-toe evaluation.

 
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