Last Sunday my local library organized a cupcake competition open to all ages. There would be no prizes...just judging for most "I have NO CLUE what! category since this Titanic combo never make it to the library.
Not realizing that disaster loomed ahead, I grabbed "Robicelli's: A Love Story, with Cupcakes: With 50 Decidedly Grown-Up Recipes" which is an ENTIRE BOOK dedicated to cupcakes, almost all which include some form of booze. Last year I fell in love with the prose in this library book...but never made any of the recipes. THAT was my first mistake. I have a standard rule that a minimum of THREE recipes must work for me BEFORE I buy the book.
What can I say...the flesh was weak.
Anyway, I searched the book and found The Noah cupcake, which is an apple-based cupcake, topped with mascarpone icing, bourbon-flavored drizzle and candied bacon. After reading that description, you should know that the ORIGINAL name (per the authors) was The Orgasmatron.
I actually had EVERY ingredient for this cupcake and so proceeded down a path lined with calories and unknown pitfalls. First off, a slight feeling of trepidation lingered while mixing the oil-based batter (similar to carrot cake) because the method was completely reversed. The eggs, which are usually beaten to a high volume with the sugar, were added at the very end and beaten for only 10 seconds. I should remember that stomach twinges may be a primal warning as opposed to just gastro-intestinal issues. I should remember that, but I didn't.
Then I used those cute tulip-shaped cupcake paper liners because...cute! I'm not exactly sure if that caused one of the issues, but it doesn't seemed to have helped.
TWENTY-FOUR cupcakes came out of the oven with a collapsed center. Okay, okay...I could deal with that. Core out the middle, fill with sauteed apples and move forward. But since I only needed 12 for the competition (and if you haven't met me yet, you should know I had NO INTENTION of entering a contest I didn't plan to win), I decided to taste one.
I could NOT get the darn thing off the "cute tulip-shaped" cupcake paper liner. Seriously, it was like I had brushed the inside paper with E6000 craft glue and then added the batter. I tested a second one and it also had to be peeled off the paper. The flavor was good, but that was all.
So now there are TWO issues I was not happy with, but like a fool I decided to ignore my gut AGAIN and continue on to the icing. The book recommended their French buttercream, but I had already made that a few months ago and didn't want to waste SIX STICKS OF BUTTER AND FIVE EGGS for 12 cupcakes. The second recommendation was their American Buttercream, which uses powdered sugar, plus only THREE STICKS OF BUTTER, 8 OZ of MASCARPONE and 1/4 CUP of HEAVY CREAM. So, you know, the diet version.
Now I have been making icing since I was tall enough to stick beaters in a mixer and this one was an unmitigated disaster because it looked like mashed potatoes. Let me repeat: MASHED POTATOES! But sweet. There is no universe in which icing, meant to be light and fluffy, should look and taste like Bob Evan's mashed potatoes, sweet or otherwise.
So the contest was skipped. But now I was stuck with 22 collapsed cupcakes and an entire KA mixer full of sweet "mashed potatoes." So here's what I did to bring it as a dessert for a dinner I was invited to: The Orgasmatron Trifle
Crumbled apple cupcakes
Vanilla pudding + weird icing + melted Lindt white chocolate + cream cheese
Apples sautéed in butter/cinnamon/apple brandy, then mixed with my applesauce
Whipped cream
My caramel thinned with reduced apple cider
Candied bacon
PS: I left off the bourbon drizzle. Mainly because there wasn't any bourbon left after drowning my sorrows.
PPS: The trifle was a success.
Not realizing that disaster loomed ahead, I grabbed "Robicelli's: A Love Story, with Cupcakes: With 50 Decidedly Grown-Up Recipes" which is an ENTIRE BOOK dedicated to cupcakes, almost all which include some form of booze. Last year I fell in love with the prose in this library book...but never made any of the recipes. THAT was my first mistake. I have a standard rule that a minimum of THREE recipes must work for me BEFORE I buy the book.
What can I say...the flesh was weak.
Anyway, I searched the book and found The Noah cupcake, which is an apple-based cupcake, topped with mascarpone icing, bourbon-flavored drizzle and candied bacon. After reading that description, you should know that the ORIGINAL name (per the authors) was The Orgasmatron.
I actually had EVERY ingredient for this cupcake and so proceeded down a path lined with calories and unknown pitfalls. First off, a slight feeling of trepidation lingered while mixing the oil-based batter (similar to carrot cake) because the method was completely reversed. The eggs, which are usually beaten to a high volume with the sugar, were added at the very end and beaten for only 10 seconds. I should remember that stomach twinges may be a primal warning as opposed to just gastro-intestinal issues. I should remember that, but I didn't.
Then I used those cute tulip-shaped cupcake paper liners because...cute! I'm not exactly sure if that caused one of the issues, but it doesn't seemed to have helped.
TWENTY-FOUR cupcakes came out of the oven with a collapsed center. Okay, okay...I could deal with that. Core out the middle, fill with sauteed apples and move forward. But since I only needed 12 for the competition (and if you haven't met me yet, you should know I had NO INTENTION of entering a contest I didn't plan to win), I decided to taste one.
I could NOT get the darn thing off the "cute tulip-shaped" cupcake paper liner. Seriously, it was like I had brushed the inside paper with E6000 craft glue and then added the batter. I tested a second one and it also had to be peeled off the paper. The flavor was good, but that was all.
So now there are TWO issues I was not happy with, but like a fool I decided to ignore my gut AGAIN and continue on to the icing. The book recommended their French buttercream, but I had already made that a few months ago and didn't want to waste SIX STICKS OF BUTTER AND FIVE EGGS for 12 cupcakes. The second recommendation was their American Buttercream, which uses powdered sugar, plus only THREE STICKS OF BUTTER, 8 OZ of MASCARPONE and 1/4 CUP of HEAVY CREAM. So, you know, the diet version.
Now I have been making icing since I was tall enough to stick beaters in a mixer and this one was an unmitigated disaster because it looked like mashed potatoes. Let me repeat: MASHED POTATOES! But sweet. There is no universe in which icing, meant to be light and fluffy, should look and taste like Bob Evan's mashed potatoes, sweet or otherwise.
So the contest was skipped. But now I was stuck with 22 collapsed cupcakes and an entire KA mixer full of sweet "mashed potatoes." So here's what I did to bring it as a dessert for a dinner I was invited to: The Orgasmatron Trifle
Crumbled apple cupcakes
Vanilla pudding + weird icing + melted Lindt white chocolate + cream cheese
Apples sautéed in butter/cinnamon/apple brandy, then mixed with my applesauce
Whipped cream
My caramel thinned with reduced apple cider
Candied bacon
PS: I left off the bourbon drizzle. Mainly because there wasn't any bourbon left after drowning my sorrows.
PPS: The trifle was a success.
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