I'm still slightly traumatized by this recent home pizza experience. I used one of those whole-wheat pre-formed shells, full-fat mozzarella, fresh roasted tomatoes, fresh basil…the works. The package said to bake 425, preferably directly on the oven rack. So that’s what I did. It looked perfect and 15-minutes later I was lifting it out when a tiny piece of the molten lava cheese slide onto my finger.
Mother [insert favorite swear word]! I jerked my right hand away, still holding on with my left, the pizza tipped and EVERYTHING slide off.
But let's be Marilyn here...it did NOT slide onto the bottom of the oven. No...because THAT would have been easy to clean up. No, while I had the hot crust in a one-handed death grip, the rest of my carefully curated toppings landed on the opening at the bottom of the oven and proceeded to ooze through the space between door and floor.
It slide down the front of the oven as well as the drawer BELOW the oven--greasy hot cheese coating the kitchen tools I keep there--with mozzarella strands continuing onto the floor and rug in front of the oven.
I had a LOT of cheese on there, okay!
But…since the oven was 425 degrees and I don’t have asbestos fingers, I had to close up the oven door and let that mess BAKE ON.
Which brings me to yesterday where I spent TWO HOURS on the floor, scraping off baked-on atrophied cheese from the oven door, the coil heat door insulator and the oven bottom. Then I pulled out and emptied the drawer, washed the now-greasy tools plus the drawer itself and BONUS, swept and washed the floor under my stove.
THEN, as the coup de grâce, I strapped on one of those forehead lamps that geeky campers used, laid flat on the floor and scraped UNDERNEATH the door opening, because—of course—cheese was burnt there as well.

I had coleslaw for dinner.
Mother [insert favorite swear word]! I jerked my right hand away, still holding on with my left, the pizza tipped and EVERYTHING slide off.
But let's be Marilyn here...it did NOT slide onto the bottom of the oven. No...because THAT would have been easy to clean up. No, while I had the hot crust in a one-handed death grip, the rest of my carefully curated toppings landed on the opening at the bottom of the oven and proceeded to ooze through the space between door and floor.
It slide down the front of the oven as well as the drawer BELOW the oven--greasy hot cheese coating the kitchen tools I keep there--with mozzarella strands continuing onto the floor and rug in front of the oven.
I had a LOT of cheese on there, okay!
But…since the oven was 425 degrees and I don’t have asbestos fingers, I had to close up the oven door and let that mess BAKE ON.
Which brings me to yesterday where I spent TWO HOURS on the floor, scraping off baked-on atrophied cheese from the oven door, the coil heat door insulator and the oven bottom. Then I pulled out and emptied the drawer, washed the now-greasy tools plus the drawer itself and BONUS, swept and washed the floor under my stove.
THEN, as the coup de grâce, I strapped on one of those forehead lamps that geeky campers used, laid flat on the floor and scraped UNDERNEATH the door opening, because—of course—cheese was burnt there as well.

I had coleslaw for dinner.
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