Oooooooh gawd that has me laughing so hard I have tears running down my face!!
Yeah, I had to go look because I was thinking, speeds? I don't recall speeds. Mine is a KA and sure enough it has a dial on top that goes from 1-9, but they all have that "hold in the button to activate" insanity.
Now your story, though without the jar, reminds me of trying to blend a small batch of soup one time. I'm guessing it must've not been quite deep enough and then, BAM, 360 degrees of tomato soup! Then I tipped and stood there running it, and running it, and running it, and running it some more and my hand was screaming in pain for the love of god this is the 7th circle of blender hell if it takes this long why is there no on/off switch, why must you hold the switch down, will you just give up and use the real blender already?
So that was the end of the immersion blender. It now lives in the dead zone cabinet above the range hood with all it's attachments save one. I use it's beaker cup all the time.