Totally NFR: What do you do when you've asked for a Christmas list

Great suggestions! How about a kitten or a puppy too? (Actually Janet hit the nail on the head.)

 
I don't think a thank-you note is ever out of order. If someone scoffed then you can thank them by

email next time but still send notes to everyone else smileys/wink.gif

I usually write thank-you's by email. I'm afraid I won't get around to an actual note and too much time will go by.

 
My feeling: anyone who scoffs at/mocks a thank-you note doesn't deserve another one...

Everyone else probably does. smileys/wink.gif

Writing thank-you notes was a big deal in my family, so I just do it for any gift received, any formal/business (small group) dinner, etc. If we're invited to dinner with close friends here, a call the next morning is fine in lieu of a written thank-you, I think (or, at least, that's what my mom does). But invitations from the older generation get written thank-yous (again, just in my book).

My husband and most of our Czech friends find my obsession with thank-you notes amusing, but no one has ever mocked me for it! It's just what I grew up doing.

Oddly enough, though, I got an email this week from a (Czech) friend's mom, thanking me for sending a condolence card. So...maybe it's just generational? Maybe I'm secretly 65?

 
With the upcoming holiday season, here are some thankyou letter do's and don'ts:

The Do's of Thank You Letters:
Send your thank you letters as quickly as possible.
Always send letters in the following situations:

Wedding gifts.
For sympathy letters, flowers, or mass cards.
To the hostess after a party that was hosted in your honor.
For bridal or baby shower gifts.
For gifts that were received by mail.
After being entertained by your boss.
Gifts received during a hospital stay.
After being hosted as a houseguest for one or more nights (unless it's a close relative or friend who is doing the hosting).
For notes or gifts of congratulations.

Thank you notes are not required in the following situations, but would still be a nice gesture:

After being a guest at a dinner party. (Whenever you are invited over for dinner it's always polite and nice to follow-up a few days later with a warm thank-you note. Although handwritten and mailed thank you notes have a great importance of their own, it's perfectly acceptable to send an email thank-you to friends or family after a dinner party.)

After a job interview (not required, but definitely a smart idea).
For birthday gifts that were received and opened in person, and you already thanked the giver personally.
When a friend has helped you out with a special favor such as babysitting, a meal when you were sick, running errands for you when you are incapable.
To the sales representative who has entertained you personally as part of a business relationship.

The Don'ts of Thank You Letters

Don't delay in sending most letters. Generally letters should be sent within a week of receipt of the gift or gesture. The only exception to this timing is as follows:

Thank you letters for hospital gifts should be sent as soon as the patient is well enough to send them, whenever that is.
The current guidelines for wedding gift thank you letters are that the letters should be sent within three months of receipt of gifts. However, given the potential monumental task that would pose to the bride and groom after their honeymoon, it makes sense to send notes out as soon as gifts are received (often wedding gifts are sent prior to the wedding date).

I cannot stress enough the importance of personalizing thank you letters. I have attended large children's parties where parents hand out pre-written thank you letters as guests leave the party, even though gifts haven't even been opened. In my opinion, there's no point in even giving a thank you in this case. Thought was given to selecting just the right present for the birthday boy or girl, and without a specific thank you for the gift, the giver will never know how much the gift was really enjoyed. This kind of thank you is merely a check note on the party list, and conveys no sense of personal appreciation.

Even though most thank you letters can be sent on informal stationery, that doesn't mean it's okay to use a piece of paper torn from your shopping list pad. Find note cards that reflect your personality, and keep a ready supply on hand. They don't need to cost a lot of money. In fact, if you shop diligently, you can find inexpensive, attractive cards in the dollar stores.

There's no need to lie if you dislike a gift. If something is not to your taste, you should still show appreciation for the thought that went into selecting it for you. You can always say "Thank you for the thoughtful (fill in the blank). I will always think of you whenever I use it."

 
Thanks, Steve. Now I won't be able to hear that carol without laughing, and when I do,

How am I gonna explain it?

 
I think that is a good way to handle that situation.

My mother-in-law cuts kids off who doesn't call or send thank you notes. My mom made us sit down and write thank you notes as soon as we opened our gifts. It's a lesson that I have passed down to my kids. I do let them call and thank them on the phone because I feel like that is even more personal.

 
Erin, I totally agree! Thank you notes go forth from this house...

with regularity and my biggest problem?

I don't know the address!!!

Example: Your wonderful, generous, and well-receieved gift with Sandra of macarons from Ladurée was received with suitable verklemmptness (I hope!). When I got home to sort it all out? I didn't know your addresses. I felt like a schmo and didn't do anything... To this day I regret that.

This is the biggest problem I have!!! How do we communicate that without seeming like ingrates? Thank you so much, what is your address???

This has happened to me so many times! I think so many times people just don't know the mailing address!!!

 
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