anti-climatic, cooking blues.... I can't be the only one this happens to? having done
- Thread starter randi
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can i ever relate, marg! isn't it disapointing when people don't seem to appreciate the
efforts you've made? this'll sound terribly snooty, but i've learned sometimes it's better to save the 'good stuff' and the hard work for people who'll truly enjoy the end result.
still, it's nice to know that ulitmately the company is more important to our relatives than the food and wine that is served!
efforts you've made? this'll sound terribly snooty, but i've learned sometimes it's better to save the 'good stuff' and the hard work for people who'll truly enjoy the end result.
still, it's nice to know that ulitmately the company is more important to our relatives than the food and wine that is served!
andreaindc
Well-known member
I agree. It happens to me. I attribute it partly to the dulled tastebuds and...
also, I think I am much harder on my own cooking than I think I would be on anyone else's (not including restaurants).
In addition, it seems that not a lot of people cook and so they seem less particular about food that is cooked for them. One other thought - the people we invite also seem so much to appreciate being invited that that's as big a deal as the actual food.
My two cents anyhow... I'm glad I'm not the only one this happens to.
also, I think I am much harder on my own cooking than I think I would be on anyone else's (not including restaurants).
In addition, it seems that not a lot of people cook and so they seem less particular about food that is cooked for them. One other thought - the people we invite also seem so much to appreciate being invited that that's as big a deal as the actual food.
My two cents anyhow... I'm glad I'm not the only one this happens to.
barbara-in-va
Well-known member
This happens to me too. I thought it was sorta like the holidays, big build up with lots of
anticipation and then like a flash it is all over! So many good thoughts and ideas in this thread for me to keep in mind for next time. I particularly like the idea that most people really don't cook anymore so they don't realize how much effort goes into what they are eating. I guess that is obvious by the success of all those numerous "dinner done" type places (my neighbors just do not understand why I won't go with them to one of these places).
I think I cook because I want to bring a smile to someone's face when the eat the fruits of my labors. But if everyone is busy visiting and really pays little attention to the food, it is a let down for me. That seems a bit conceited as I write it down. Maybe I just need to relax and enjoy the company of my guests more?
anticipation and then like a flash it is all over! So many good thoughts and ideas in this thread for me to keep in mind for next time. I particularly like the idea that most people really don't cook anymore so they don't realize how much effort goes into what they are eating. I guess that is obvious by the success of all those numerous "dinner done" type places (my neighbors just do not understand why I won't go with them to one of these places).
I think I cook because I want to bring a smile to someone's face when the eat the fruits of my labors. But if everyone is busy visiting and really pays little attention to the food, it is a let down for me. That seems a bit conceited as I write it down. Maybe I just need to relax and enjoy the company of my guests more?
richard-in-cincy
Well-known member
Luisa, a solution for that problem...
When I'm cooking, serving, bussing, and prepping plates for a dinner party, at the end of a course, I excuse everyone from the table, appoint someone as bartender, and instruct him to make sure everyne has a drink while I retire to the skullery. And of course, usually everyone tags along. So the party moves to the kitchen. Everyone responds really well to the invitation to get up, stretch their legs, walk around, and have a bit of time between courses.
When I'm cooking, serving, bussing, and prepping plates for a dinner party, at the end of a course, I excuse everyone from the table, appoint someone as bartender, and instruct him to make sure everyne has a drink while I retire to the skullery. And of course, usually everyone tags along. So the party moves to the kitchen. Everyone responds really well to the invitation to get up, stretch their legs, walk around, and have a bit of time between courses.
richard-in-cincy
Well-known member
For me it's the former...
I do it for the pleasure of the creation. But as a result, I also consider it the latter: for the pleasure of the company.
However, most of the time, no one at the table knows the lengths I've gone to with the 3 day consommes, the recipes inside of recipes inside of recipes, the sauce with 52 ingredients, etc. I enjoy the creative process of cooking. When I have to rush or cook on demand, there is no fun. That's why my short-lived catering flirtation came to a sudden shrieking halt. If there's no joy, I don't want to do it.
I do it for the pleasure of the creation. But as a result, I also consider it the latter: for the pleasure of the company.
However, most of the time, no one at the table knows the lengths I've gone to with the 3 day consommes, the recipes inside of recipes inside of recipes, the sauce with 52 ingredients, etc. I enjoy the creative process of cooking. When I have to rush or cook on demand, there is no fun. That's why my short-lived catering flirtation came to a sudden shrieking halt. If there's no joy, I don't want to do it.
At one time it was considered inappropiate or rude to comment on the food at a dinner party, could
this be part of the problem? It was taken as you were there for the food and not the company, etc. I'm not sure if this is still held as a belief by many or not. Anyone else heard this?...hey, I'm old.
this be part of the problem? It was taken as you were there for the food and not the company, etc. I'm not sure if this is still held as a belief by many or not. Anyone else heard this?...hey, I'm old.
richard-in-cincy
Well-known member
that reminds me of something I read in Julia Child's bio...
can't remember the quote exactly, but it was something like, never make excuses and never apologize for the food you set on the table, no matter how much it may displease you. She of course had some wise words as to they whys and wherefores, but it makes sense. If you set something on the table making excuses for it, the diners will probably be turned off before they put a bite in their mouth.
can't remember the quote exactly, but it was something like, never make excuses and never apologize for the food you set on the table, no matter how much it may displease you. She of course had some wise words as to they whys and wherefores, but it makes sense. If you set something on the table making excuses for it, the diners will probably be turned off before they put a bite in their mouth.
luisa_calif
Well-known member
This might work if my guests weren't elderly relatives pushing 90 & non drinkers...
I guess I would need a different class of guests! LOL!
I guess I would need a different class of guests! LOL!
luisa_calif
Well-known member
Totally true!
dawn_mo
Well-known member
I am glad to read that I am not the only one who waits until the next morning for clean up.
Some how I always picture everyone on this board as being super organized, part of that being that the kitchen is spotless after the last course is served. I try to keep mine at least somewhat in order, but I would rather play than clean after all the food has been served. That is afterall the real reason that you have parties to begin with, to enjoy friends and family.
Some how I always picture everyone on this board as being super organized, part of that being that the kitchen is spotless after the last course is served. I try to keep mine at least somewhat in order, but I would rather play than clean after all the food has been served. That is afterall the real reason that you have parties to begin with, to enjoy friends and family.
Ah, you've all discovered the "I'm having a dinner party diet"! (I got verbose)
How could it be called a diet when high calorie, fat-laden delicious ingredients are used? Because we clobber ourselves cooking them, bend over backwards and do hand stands getting the complex and wonderful foods to the table (all our guests see is a flip of the hand and hear "oh, it's nothing") with exquisite presentations and seemingly-perfect timing.....then we are so exhausted by the whole ordeal we cannot, don't even want to, EAT.
Has it ever happened to me? You take a guess.
Why are we such masochists? Because we really do love to cook, because we love and need the kudos to feed our cooking passions, because we know we picked a difficult menu and need to climb that mountain, to scale it and reach the summit even if it hurts doing it. Because its THERE.
When I plan a dinner party I do so around my guests. I don't pick a menu then pick the guests. I pick the guests then plan the menu because I usually know the people and how broad their food tastes are. I like to take them to the edge and sometimes even a little further but I do NOT waste my time by serving exotic or difficult fare to people that will not understand or appreciate it. Maybe that is the key. Know thy guests. The only thing that bothers me is being surprised by a dislike- I always ask beforehand if there is an ingredient that is NOT enjoyed or that someone is allergic to- and if I have done that and am confident that I sidestepped the unwanted ingredients, I expect everyone to eat what I fix them. I abhor finding out that there is yet another thing (usually the main ingredient I fixed) someone does not eat for some reason. That drives me crazy.
Over the years I learned not to work so hard trying to please people. A valuable lesson is to know that your friends will be as thrilled with a good lasagna or basic roasted chicken as they would be with a complex and tricky multi-level dish with two sauces made at the last moment.
My personal thrill is to try out new recipes (even make them up on the spot) for dinner parties and have someone tell me it was the best dinner they ever ate. It is what I strive for. It actually happens once in a while. I love it when people enjoy home cooking- especially people that eat out a lot.
No matter what I cook though, I still usually don't eat much at my own parties. By the time it gets on the table I am tired of seeing it, smelling it, serving it....but I weigh less the next morning!
How could it be called a diet when high calorie, fat-laden delicious ingredients are used? Because we clobber ourselves cooking them, bend over backwards and do hand stands getting the complex and wonderful foods to the table (all our guests see is a flip of the hand and hear "oh, it's nothing") with exquisite presentations and seemingly-perfect timing.....then we are so exhausted by the whole ordeal we cannot, don't even want to, EAT.
Has it ever happened to me? You take a guess.
Why are we such masochists? Because we really do love to cook, because we love and need the kudos to feed our cooking passions, because we know we picked a difficult menu and need to climb that mountain, to scale it and reach the summit even if it hurts doing it. Because its THERE.
When I plan a dinner party I do so around my guests. I don't pick a menu then pick the guests. I pick the guests then plan the menu because I usually know the people and how broad their food tastes are. I like to take them to the edge and sometimes even a little further but I do NOT waste my time by serving exotic or difficult fare to people that will not understand or appreciate it. Maybe that is the key. Know thy guests. The only thing that bothers me is being surprised by a dislike- I always ask beforehand if there is an ingredient that is NOT enjoyed or that someone is allergic to- and if I have done that and am confident that I sidestepped the unwanted ingredients, I expect everyone to eat what I fix them. I abhor finding out that there is yet another thing (usually the main ingredient I fixed) someone does not eat for some reason. That drives me crazy.
Over the years I learned not to work so hard trying to please people. A valuable lesson is to know that your friends will be as thrilled with a good lasagna or basic roasted chicken as they would be with a complex and tricky multi-level dish with two sauces made at the last moment.
My personal thrill is to try out new recipes (even make them up on the spot) for dinner parties and have someone tell me it was the best dinner they ever ate. It is what I strive for. It actually happens once in a while. I love it when people enjoy home cooking- especially people that eat out a lot.
No matter what I cook though, I still usually don't eat much at my own parties. By the time it gets on the table I am tired of seeing it, smelling it, serving it....but I weigh less the next morning!
richard-in-cincy
Well-known member
LOL. Bravo! Bravo!
and speaking of foods people dislike. That might be an interesting topic. My list:
chicken feet (never tried; don't need to)
catfish
parsnips
and speaking of foods people dislike. That might be an interesting topic. My list:
chicken feet (never tried; don't need to)
catfish
parsnips
usually, I'll load the dishwasher with everything that fits and start that going. pots and
pans can just soak and wait till the morning. but, I am soooo lucky with my friends and they just jump right in and start cleaning up for me. there was nothing for me to clean Sunday morning smileys/smile.gif
pans can just soak and wait till the morning. but, I am soooo lucky with my friends and they just jump right in and start cleaning up for me. there was nothing for me to clean Sunday morning smileys/smile.gif
ah, I'm so prepared for the next one! first, thanks to all of you, spending too much time
with the food dulls the cook's palate. 2nd, as much advance prep as possible makes a difference.
one of the things I used to do, back in NY with a tiny kitchen, was to plan my menu out, often from the latest issue of Gourmet. I would take on the entree and usually something else. I would give cooking assignments to my friends and give them the recipe I wanted them to use. that way, I could get fussy but not exhausted with an elaborate menu.
only one in our "core group" of friends doesn't cook. she doesn't like cooking really but certainly is no slouch with kitchen chores when I'm finishing up dishes. the rest are excellent cooks and we are enjoying cooking together.
sooo, I have plenty of help from prep cooking to table setting, to plating and serving and cleaning up. I just need to plan things out a little better if there are lot of dishes being served.
annnnd, I totally loved the food the next day! smileys/smile.gif
with the food dulls the cook's palate. 2nd, as much advance prep as possible makes a difference.
one of the things I used to do, back in NY with a tiny kitchen, was to plan my menu out, often from the latest issue of Gourmet. I would take on the entree and usually something else. I would give cooking assignments to my friends and give them the recipe I wanted them to use. that way, I could get fussy but not exhausted with an elaborate menu.
only one in our "core group" of friends doesn't cook. she doesn't like cooking really but certainly is no slouch with kitchen chores when I'm finishing up dishes. the rest are excellent cooks and we are enjoying cooking together.
sooo, I have plenty of help from prep cooking to table setting, to plating and serving and cleaning up. I just need to plan things out a little better if there are lot of dishes being served.
annnnd, I totally loved the food the next day! smileys/smile.gif
richard-in-cincy
Well-known member
I had a friend that
had so many dietary restrictions and was so vocal about it, fairly assuming that NOTHING that they didn't like should appear in a dinner, that I just stopped inviting them. I'm not a short order cook. : )
When did it become acceptable to order your dinner when invited to someone's house for dinner???
had so many dietary restrictions and was so vocal about it, fairly assuming that NOTHING that they didn't like should appear in a dinner, that I just stopped inviting them. I'm not a short order cook. : )
When did it become acceptable to order your dinner when invited to someone's house for dinner???