Gourmet: What ever happened to the dinner party?

I grew up with lots of dinner parties and entertaining.

My father was a diplomat and that was sort of part of the territory for my mother. Luckily, she was a wonderful cook and loved to entertain. Usually we had a couple of dinners per month for friends or coworkers, and a few times a year they'd be official Embassy events, elaborate enough for my mom to bring in extra help.

I love to have people over for dinner and I used to do a lot before we had the baby (who's now two!). But all my friends now have small children and NOBODY seems to hire sitters anymore to go out and have an adult dinner. It's not that I'm against kids--I think it's important for them to go to dinners so they learn about different food and how to behave. But they change the atmosphere.

And then you end up cooking two meals--one for the adults and one for the kids because so many kids won't eat anything.

I still haven't found the happy medium to entertaining in this new stage of my life. Maybe I just have to wait a few years until all our kids get old enough to stay home on their own...

 
I grew up with dinner parties...

My parents would have several each month and we would also go to others' homes - I totally agree that kids should be part of it, but back then, and in Mexico, there were no such things as kid's meals - if I didn't like what was being served, I went hungry, to be honest, it never even ocurred to me tghat I could have the option to eat something different to the adults! When we moved to the States and I saw "kid's meals" on menus it was a total revelation! To this day, I always look at the kiddy section to see what's on offer!!

 
Amanda, some of my friends and siblings have solved this dilemma by hiring a communal sitter

either at the host's house or close by, so the kids get together and have their own party and the adults get theirs. I'm sure there are interruptions but for the most part the kids and their sitter are on their own for the evening. Something to consider when yours is a bit older.

Funny, I was NEVER interested in kid's food growing up and always wanted to eat what the adults were eating.

 
We grew up with block parties and there was an older neighbor that LOVED watching the kids. My dad

talks about going into someone's living room to retrieve me at the end of the night. "The kids were passed out and lined up on the floor like firewood!"

 
Can we talk? In this family they are both considered ***HIGHLY*** Toxic---Do not go near! LOL

Maria, how awful, and spiteful, the old bag was. At least you can laugh about it now.

I can just see Bette Davis playing that role in the kitchen with the flour! I've seen several scenes like that over the years from the "Highly Drammatic School of Overdone Histrionics."

One has to just stare in disbelief, shake one's head, and decide to be the bigger person.

Kudos to you for surviving with your humor and not causing a civil war.

 
Or TV or movies...

I'm with you. No one came to our house to eat. Mother had her issues. "Dinner Party" for me was getting to go to my grandmother's for dinner. Always a treat.

Of course I was fascinated with the concept of "dinner party" that I saw in old movies and on television programs. It incubated in my soul and when I was finally free to do it, they started in a glorious burst and have continued unabated no matter where I've lived or the circumstances.

My first dinner party was when I finally moved out of the dorm into my first apartment. I was 19. I cooked 6 Indian dishes that were meant as a full menu from a copy of Esquire or Gentleman's Quarterly.

And I'd never tasted Indian food before. Indian restaurants didn't exist in Cincinnati in the late 70's of the last century.

 
Did you think it was wonderful or did it taste strange that first time you made it? I love these

stories. No dinner parties, I grew up with the Sunday dinner after church. As we lived on a farm and my parents had to tend to animals both evenings and early mornings, so evening entertaining was very seldom done. But we attended or hosted dinner almost every Sunday afternoon. Lots of good memories of that.

 
Richard, my MIL was so neurotic and controlling that there were never any visitors of any kind.

Jacques' childhood friends never saw his room--they had to stay on the square meter of tile inside the front door and not go onto the carpet. There were never any dinner guests and when it came to cooking she steamed everything because it made less mess. Not your average Parisienne! (I don't mean to put her down--she was sweet and funny in her way--but damaged.)

The naughtiest thing he ever did in high school was to have a few friends over for lunch while his mother was out. They moved the dining table (which had never been used for dining) onto the terrace! They had to mark things very carefully to return them exactly.

No wonder he is such an enthusiastic host now, but he likes things casual and unpredictable. As soon as I start getting formal and quoting rules it starts pushing his buttons.

 
aw, Maria...I feel for you, babe. Was this around 1989? Because that scene came

out of a movie with Holly Hunter called "Always".

She is making a dinner for a new guy and can't cook at all. She buys all the food prepared, throws flour on her face and walks out with the food. Sounds like you MIL copped that scene for scene.

My MIL was big on calling people while we were at work and telling Big. Fat. Lies. to illicite sympathy. Fortunately, everyone she called knew her personality and believed us.

 
I can so relate...

and the stories I could tell you about my mother. Not only wasn't I allowed to have friends in my room, they weren't even allowed anywhere on the property. He has my sympathy.

I only do fancy formal about once a year, just to keep up my chops on it. It really intimidates a lot of people these days. But it's so good for brain exercise to coordinate, produce, and pull off full-blown formal.

Usually we're quite casual here. I'll just be cooking and then develop the urge to feed people and start calling people to come over for dinner.

 
HA! I remember when I was 9 or 10, I showed my neighbor friend how to make an omlette. My dad came

home and launched into a speech about how "we're not here to feed the entire neighborhood!"

No one ever came over. My mom loved making hundreds of Christmas cookies but over the years, her friendship circle got so whittled down, they mostly sat stacked in the garage. Eventually they'd get eaten by our family but it took a loooonnnggg time.

I've been "wired" to entertain since I was very young, but only in the past 5-10 years have started making a point of it. Since I couldn't model what I saw at home, my early efforts were quite dismal!

 
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