The roasted chicken in milk above has me asking, how do you deal with picky eaters?

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desertjean

Well-known member
I consider myself on the high end of picky. Other than very fresh halibut and cod (if prepared just so), I don't touch the stuff. Nothing that comes from the water. I also avoid many veggies. Cucumbers, capers, zucchini, and even egg plant if not 'prepared just so'. Certain cheeses don't happen, either. Brie, blue, goat... You get the drift. I'll cook with all the above but don't make me eat it.

BUT when I go to someone's house, I will do everything within my power to eat what is served without fuss and with a smile. (Mushrooms, however, do get pushed to the side, I figure folks would prefer to see a pile of mushrooms than me retching. I can't help the physical response, I don't have to see it or know it's there. The little bugger can be very well hidden but my body still knows.)

I have folks to dinner who are waaaaaaaaaaaay picker than I am. They will not eat most foods and won't touch a food that they think doesn't look just right. Nothing green, no pork, no seafood... you get the drift. I have to work hard to tailor the menu to fit and often it is still not 'up to snuff'.

I'm not talking allergies or sensitivities here, I'm talking just plain picky eaters. How do others handle this? Do you offer them a pb&j or something else from your kitchen?

 
For guests with more than 3 "I won't eat" items, I make...reservations.

It's hard to juggle menus when dealing with this friend who won't eat green peppers or shrimp or bread versus that friend who won't eat dairy or red meat or scallops versus that otherfriend who won't eat anything with a face or anything that has been looked at by anything with a face. (ya, she's a toughy to cook for.)

We've found a favorite sushi bar which also has a "cooked items" menu, an interesting Italian restaurant that has outdoor seating and a wood-burning oven, and a grubby Florida cracker bar with a stuffed alligator up in the ceiling and wooden picnic tables right on the Intercoastal. All picky friends are taken to one of those and I'm no longer frustrated.

 
This reminds me of invitees to the White House who respond with "I won't eats"!

Invitees RSVP with SCORES of "I won't eats" for a every meal! Not food allergies, "sensitivities" or religious restrictions. Just "I won't eats"!

Never mind the occasion and/or being invited to share a meal which you don't have to pay for, cook, or clean up after! And even though you and the First Lady will serve enough different dishes there will be something for everyone, courtesy has gone the way of the dinosaur.

 
My personal opinion is that this rudeness today is totally disgusting

I'm sure the White House handles these situations with much grace. I'm afraid that with the exception of allergies, I would be less graceful. We do have a dil who dislikes red meat and I understand that. I am always respectful of her distaste for that and have other offerings.
I attended a function years ago, and noticed a lady at the table next to ours, pull food out of a bag when everyone else was served. I asked her if she had told the kitchen staff of her desires prior to the dinner and she said, "there are many things I won't or cannot eat. So, to lesson the burden on the kitchen staff and servers, I tell them respectfully that I will bring my own deliciously prepared food". That is a lady I respect.

 
My dad would eat only at 2 other homes because of his fear of lack of cleanliness. When he visited

us for the first time, we had told very good friends (and an outstanding cook) about his finickiness. My dad ate a penut butter sandwich every day of his adult life and used to joke that he'd be happy with that at a house he didin't feel comfortable at. Most people just ignored that.

These firneds invited us all for dinner.

She started the meal by serving him peanut butter and jam on a cracker. We all have a great sense of humour and we all cracked up about it, including him. He carried on eating the wonderful meal and enjoying himself.

I think there is a level of just plain rudeness when people won't try things that just don't sit quite right or that they anticipate might not be their ideal. I remember taking a truly beautiful cake to a Christmas dinner; it cost me $65 just for the ingredients and it was an obvious major effort. The hostess wouldn't even try it because she thought it might be fattening, so then the daughter wouldn't either. What a lot of leftover cake.

I do think people need to be a lot more considerate in so many situations and give in on their own idiosyncracies to bend to make others more comfortable.

 
Why didn't she just decline the invite? I would be horrified if someone pulled out a brown bag at my

table!!!! I would eat beforehand and decline what I couldn't eat.

 
actually, I don't let it bother me---if they don't eat, then they don't eat. and I would

have lost my temper and told them to bring their own next time. I don't tolerate that kind of picky eater very well. My stepdaughter is like that, and I don't try to cater to her wants anymore. she is old enough to fend for herself if there is nothing she cares for---and I always have several offerings.

 
I find sometimes these are old dislikes that haven't recently been challenged. People hate

liver because their mothers overcooked it, and so they never try it anywhere or never cook it for themselves. Then tender, pinkish liver is served to them and it's a revelation. Or anchovies -- people hate them because of rancid, poor-quality, tinny ones on fast-food pizzas, and then you serve them something with quality anchovies and they go, "Wow, this is delicious, what's that special something in it?" Or Marmite, because they've heard from others how awful it is. But watch how fast the bowl of Twiglets vanishes at cocktail hour. Or my oldest friend, who claimed to hate things with custardy texture, but hoovered up my chai creme caramel and wanted more. Or olives, because they've only had bad, flavorless canned ones. Etc., etc., etc.

Maybe it makes them reconsider, maybe they just keep saying they hate something out of habit. (No, it's not always habit. Sometimes people genuinely don't want to eat something. Such as fish eyes.)

I can accept "pickiness" when it's health-related: garlic or eggplant, for instance, doesn't always agree with people as they get older. And that's fine. And then there's vegetarianism and lactose intolerance and diabetes and whatnot. Yes, for you I will change the menu. But if adults sound like my 11-year-old god-daughter who doesn't like anything that's not white or that's touching something else on the plate, well I say you're a guest, eat what's put in front of you or go hungry. (Not out loud, of course.) But I don't encounter this often. Maybe I've just carefully weeded out the picky friends over the years.

 
My pet peeve: the guest who "orders" dinner like they're going to a restaurant.

I'm a pretty good cook. I cook many things, present a bountiful repast with lots of veggies and salads, usually serve buffet style, and if someone can't go through the buffet and find something to eat, then, IMHO, there are some major problems with that person.

How many times has it happened, when inviting the oddball non-frequent guest, that I'm quizzed on what I'll be serving, offered suggestions on what to serve, and NOT to serve, and then told what they want to eat.

I'm Not a restaurant.

I was doing a buffet last christmas for a group I don't normally socialize with and was EXPLICITLY told not to serve a dish because "so and so" didn't like it.

Guess what?

I made a double batch.

When I'm invited and I don't like something (oh like chicken feet, catfish, fish eyes, parsnips, overcooked vegetables, etc.), I just don't eat them. I don't announce that I am not eating them. I don't castigate anyone for serving them, I don't ask for something else, I don't explain why I'm not eating it, and I don't make a production about it.

It's called good manners.

 
I was probably 45, and had convinced myself that I wouldn't like it. then I tried it and now

it's the first meal I like to have when I go to Hawaii---a late night rice bowl with tuna. yum!

 
This event was NOT at a private home but at an appreciation dinner for volunteers.

She had allergies to chickens, something in the rice, dairy in the bread, and she could have a salad. She did not make an issue out of it, kept the sack on her lap and while eating the salad would take small things out and put them on her salad plate. I can only imagine what a fiasco it would be if everyone requested special foods.

 
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