I don't think they let people like me in....
I think the office of President IS something special, and deserves respect, support, protocol and should honor tradition. (Even if I disagree with a sitting President's politics) I also think being First Lady is one of the best jobs in the world... a "job" which calls on a woman to be role model for all women, for all U.S. citizens, and give a voice in support of the greatest nation we call America.
That said, I wouldn't appreciate all of the pettiness involved in something as challenging, yet routine, as throwing a state dinner. Don't write me a personal note telling me your digestive system can't tolerate green peas. I mean, how do you politely say "If you want to come to dinner, come to dinner. If you don't eat green peas, then don't eat green peas at the dinner." More than likely I would pencil in the guest on the RSVP list and throw the note in the "outgoing" file cabinet, a.k.a. the trash. There are so many dishes at these events even a fasting person could find something to eat!
Wouldn't I just fit right in at the White House?
Actually I once read some of the First Ladies' impressions of the White House, and one of them mentioned how at one time, an invitation to dine at the White House was an honor and people wouldn't dream of telling the hostess what they did or didn't want served. (The White House chef always prepares foods to suit many special diets anyway.) But these days the number of "special" requests, of which most are "I don't eats or "I can't tolerates," is overwhelming, rude and demanding.