Weird question about yesterday. One of the couples we invited had just

I am the same way, unless it is family or a planned potluck of sorts.

I remember one Halloween when a couple arrived late, and brought with them a gigantic pumpkin that was hollowed out and filled with a beef pumpkin stew. I was serving all appetizers and was not set up to serve soup to that large a group. I was scrambling for bowls and had to resort to using coffee mugs. I was not a happy camper, but I had to keep reminding myself what a wonderful couple they were and that they were trying to be thoughtful.

 
When you think about it, offering to pay could almost negate all the planning, cooking and good will

you've put into the evening. Not that it was intended that way, but a special dinner in your home is priceless, and if I were in your position, I would feel a jolt too when offered money for the materials.

 
Beef Pumpkin Stew? Sounds great. I don't suppose you got the recipe amid all the rush? smileys/wink.gif

I've learned the hard way, after sending hostesses scrambling, to make my pot luck contributions self contained--i.e. a ladle and paper cups.

 
It's hard to be new! You don't know if you will get to be friends

and have the opportunity to reciprocate.

We were invited to dinner at a neighbor's home many years ago and dh and I found that we didn't have much in common with them aside from proximity. I've always felt sorry that I didn't bring something more than a bottle of wine because we didn't pursue a relationship after that first dinner. Colleen

 
I disagree. I think of it as an acknowlegement of the time, effort & expense and being a thoughtful

guest, they understand all that's involved. Cost is just one factor of all the output. While I wouldn't take the $$$, I'd be flattered. There's a guest who "gets" all that goes into a fabulous dinner. I'd be honored at the gesture of a contribution and welcome them back with open arms.

 
Control freak over dinner? Bring it on! As a guest, it's helpful to know that in advance.

I have a number of control freak friends but learned their tendencies the hard way (showing up with food or watching them frown over the bottle of wine I brought...) Save your guests the heartache. If you're a control freak, say it loud and proud!

As a Midwest girl, this was a tough adjustment for me. We never go to someone's house without a gift of some sort. It's so ingrained in me, I even have a stash of hostess gift items in my car, in case I forget something at home. In fact, I took up canning just for hostess gifts. Now I bring a canned jar of something and call it good.

 
But there's just something about cash, as opposed to a bottle of wine or a hostess gift,

that's rubbing me the wrong way.

Of course it was intended as a kindness, and they should be invited back with open arms, but pulling out your wallet is not the same as offering to make a dish, or selecting a thouhtful gift.

That's just me--I like to pretend that money is never an issue with entertaining.

 
I think a home-canned item is the perfect gift. It's personal, and it requires no maintenance on

arrival. The hosts can enjoy it the next morning or the next month and think of you.

 
Funny, I've never had to tell anyone that I'm a control freak. I wonder how they find out?

 
I'm the kind who'd have used it as a conversation starter...

Not to embarrass him, but quietly with him, ask him if that was the custom where they came from. Learn more about them and the customs they're used to. How awkward for them!

 
We must be called the last frontier for a reason---I can think of very few "orchestrated" meals

that I have attended where the hosts didn't gladly accept whatever was "gifted". We are a loosey-goosey bunch up here I guess. I just bought a fun bottle of white wine at Costco. It's called Platinum and has a flashy blond on the bottle(which is a lovely shade of dark blue and I couldn't resist). It will be my next hostess gift, probably this weekend. I have no idea if the wine is any good, but it's a fun bottle. Am I a nightmare guest??

 
We have a closeknit bunch of friends who gather every Xmas and pitch in for the prime rib. It's

kind of a family of sorts and we just pitch in on certain occasions. I think lots of friend circles might do this and if I were new to a group, I might ask too---but just once.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top