I think we may have devised a new diet plan, customized to your own personal DISLIKES!
Huh, what do you think? Any individual who wants to lose weight makes a list of ALL the foods they DISLIKE. Then they build a week's worth of meal plans USING that LIST!
It's brilliant! Why didn't I think of this sooner. Instead of eating ice cream (Moose Tracks!) and dark russet salt/pepper chips and warm chocolate pudding (by the way, thanks again Meryl!)---my daily diet would consist of:
Breakfast:
Gag-reflexing fresh cantelope
Sulfuric-smelling soft-boiled eggs
Pre-packaged preservative-laden spongy crumpets
Lunch:
My mother's Pasta Fagoli (burnt onions, bitter tomato paste, over-cooked macaroni, water and kidney beans)
Oily, smelly fish with lots of bones
Slimy greens with raw onions and garlic
Dinner:
Lima Beans in Aspic
Citron and black licorice in anything
Liver (substitute any body organ here) which somehow manages to produce both tough, yet mealy and mushy-tasting sensations on the tongue.
Served with beer.
NOTE: the European version of salty, black licorice is particularly disgusting and can save one countless calories merely by the residual taste left on the tongue. I mean, really, what were they thinking: "umm, this doesn't taste bad enough...let me think...Oh! I've got it. I'll burn what little taste buds they have left with salt to sear in the memory. That'll do the trick."
(I believe I may have "shivered" away a few calories just by writing this.)